ROOKIES

Racing and Winning

DOC

Turns out it didn't take long for the low-rate two-cylinder taxidermist rookie racecar to fix the road. At least that was, to fix it by his standards.

The bastard stopped, breathing hard. His cheeks flushing a deep rouge that matched with his racing jacket. Mater, of course, was excited, he always was. It was new which meant that, god bless his soul, he loved it, but the rest of us knew what it was. An inexcusable mess of a road made by a person who cared less about serving out his punishment and more about showing off new tricks on a fancy race track.

When Sally said that it looked awful, Mcqueen replied that "It matches the rest of the town." Red walked off, sobbing into his thick red sweater. There were tears in Sally's eyes and Sheriff looked like he was considering sticking with my first conviction. Let him rot. I could have slapped the filthy buggy right there and then but instead, I remained calm.

"The deal was you fix the road. Not make it worse. Now scrape if off! Start over again." The road hazard looked me straight in the eyes and I could tell that none of this meant anything to him, "Hey, look, grandpa," He said, "I'm not a bulldozer. I'm a race car." He doesn't know me, I thought, he's part of another newer, spoilt generation and Hell, the storm that comes will be big, "Then why don't we just have a little race? Me and you."

If he won he'd go and I'd fix the road. If I won, he'd do the road my way. And I would win.

DOC

Sheriff wasn't so sure of the matter.

He and Sal waited for me to get in the car and drive to the starting line.

"Doc," My husband called, "What are you doin'?" I turned towards him, "Racing." I said simply.

Sheriff shock his head. He looked worried, "You haven't raced in a long while," he said, "Are you sure you're up to it?" But I was of course, I was. And I would show that delinquent road hazard what came of messin' with my town.

"Darlin'," I said and standing on the tips of my toes I kissed Sheriff's cheek, "Don't you worry about a thing." Not even my kisses could calm Sheriff down sometimes. He was still a man with a gun in his hand and anger issues.

"What if he wins? Come on, I know you, love, and if your in charge of fixin' that darn road the job will never get done." I laughed quietly even though Sheriff hadn't been joking- no, precisely because he hadn't been joking.

"I have a plan," I said, "Trust me. Just make sure the track goes past Willy's Butte god darn it."

Sheriff smiled, "You got it." He signalled. With that I turned and threw myself into the front seat of my car. A 1951 Hudson Hornet. God, how I loved these seats, this colour. Everything.

Before I drove off, I saw my husband turn to Sal, "You wanna make me another coffee?" I snorted. God, how Sheriff regretted breaking our coffee machine last week.

With that my foot slid onto the accelerator and I drove down the dusted path.

SHERIFF

"Gentlemen, this will be a one-lap race. You will drive to Willy's Butte, go around Willy's Butte and come back. There will be no bumpin', no cheatin', no spittin', no bittin', no road rage, no maimin', no oil slickin', no pushin', no shovin', no backstabbin', no road-hoggin' and no lollygaggin'," I said.

I knew we were in for a show when Mr. Fabolous failed to start his engine - I know, not very Fabulous of him. I knew we were in for an entire bloody performance when the rookie asked for a tow cable. I rushed to help him but he didn't want me he wanted Mater, not to help him but to drive along with him.

God, my rookie was reckless as Hell and he smiled as he drove.

Turns out the rookie racecar, no matter how prestintious he was, couldn't turn on dirt. You'd think that would be a simple thing wouldn't you but ohohoo no. He just went ride ahead and fell off a cliff.

When I asked Mr. Fabolous where he had found him he said he had found the road hazard in a cactus.

"Are you sure he was in the cactus?" I asked.

Doc smiled, "In the cactus," he replied, "Whole fender stuck into one of those spicy plants,"

And I smiled, "Sure, rookie," I said. Sure.

Anyways, they dragged him out and up off the cliff. The paint of his car was chipped. He had a bruise on his eye but other than that he was fine.

And I was proud of my husband, I really was. Because he had shown the road hazard what kind of stuff this town was made of.