Close to me

Looking Back

May 2093

"Will you tell me about Avery?" Ms. Valerie asked.

"Her smile lit up the whole room. She had long blonde hair that I was always so jealous of. Her eyes were emerald green – I had never seen anything like them. Her laugh was so funny. She could make me laugh just by laughing herself." I smiled to myself.

Going to a therapist made me so much happier even though I had only gone for two days. The room was so aesthetic. And Ms. Valerie let me lay on the couch the whole time.

"She seems like a wonderful person" Ms. Valerie.

"You don't even know" I said.

"Erica, if you are ready, can you tell me what happened Monday night?"

My mind went blank for a moment. I didn't want to talk about it, but I knew it would be best for me.

"She was supposed to get ice cream with me. But she never showed up. I called my grandma and she said Avery was with her friend Cassie. When I called Cassie, she didn't know where Avery was. I looked for her location on snapchat and she was at Peach Street North Bridge. I drove there as fast as I could and called the police in case she was doing what I thought she was doing. When I got there, she was standing on the ledge. I confronted her slowly and calmly and told her she was loved and we needed her. I tried my hardest to make her change her mind. I was shaking the whole time. She turned her head around and we had eye contact. I felt so many emotions when she looked at me. Hope, fear, sadness. I thought she was going to come down. But she jumped without a word. First, I was shocked. I screamed her name. Then I heard cars colliding. I fell to the floor and started crying the police came and you know the rest."

I didn't even realize it, but I was crying. I had never told anyone what happened. And it felt so good. I felt like a cloud, with nothing on my chest.

"Thank you for sharing" Ms. Valerie said.

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When I got home, I picked up my phone for the first time in days. All my friends had texted me saying they were praying for me and they hoped for the best. I texted them all saying thank you and that space was the best option for me right now. They were all very understanding, and I was grateful to have friends like them.

I also remembered the space selection. I completely forgot about it. I still wanted to do it, but I didn't know if I would have enough confidence to do it. I decided to study. It was a good way to stop thinking about life and to just focus on space.

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