It didnt take a long time when we ended up dating, I remembered it was february 22nd 10:40+ am (my time) when he asked me out. Yes! for real who would have thought that we will end up dating each other, when he was just randomly added me on steam... I think this is what they called, true love can find in an unexpected place and unexpected time with unexpected person? Lol im being corny now.
I remember the first time he said "iloveyou" to me and i cant describe what or how i will react. I was happy ofcourse and that happiness was like a teenage feelings when your crush said hi to you. Yes it made me blushed so hard and got shy when he said iloveyou to me. I couldnt take it so i ended up responding him "i like you too" omg that was so stupid. I wished i have told him i love him too.
days have passed, and everything went nice. We became each other's favorite person. I shared my time with him and he does the same thing to me. The only thing that can seperate us was when we have to sleep.
My everyday life was used to be boring that every each day was just like a cycle of me doing the same thing over and over everyday. I was also hopeless and lack of motivation to do anything in life. I was just letting everything control me and do things that i have to do not because i want but because i have to and I was not happy at all. Thanks to this guy because i feel loved again, I can actually wake up every morning thinking about him and can start a day making each other happy. I lose interest playing now and i can only play, when he is with me playing the same game. My ghad i love him so much now.
But a relation is not perfect without flaws. like arguments and misunderstandings...
It was all fine and everything was so good until he was always flexing his ex on me. So annoying but i know he didnt mean to but thats what it looks like to me. When they flex or talk their ex to you, what will you feel? Happy.
It gives me more insecurities and make me think no matter what i do is not good enough. He cant remove his ex aswell and they still have their each other so they can talk whenever they want. I think he wont tell her to stop messaging him if i didnt tell him to tell her not to talk to him, and that made me more mad ( I'M GETTING MAD AS WELL WHILE WRITING THIS. Sorry readers! )
I always get emo and upset to him because of the fact that his ex was better than me. No matter what he say that im better than her i just cant secure that he love me knowing he cant fucking decide what to do to his ex without me telling him what he should do to her. Like he removed and blocked her. Why? of course because i told him to do that. Now tell me am i better? i doubt that because he cant do those things on himself. It took days of me being mad to him all because of his ex and good thing it's over now. Yeah i made it! Im not that emo about his ex anymore just dont tell anything about her when im in good mood or i'll go evolve into something like monster. GRRR!
Yeah i love him so much like finding and talking to other guys are not on my plans. i dont like them at all and when im in good mood, there is only one perfect guy for me and that is Jay.
Jay is the only person who actually can do anything as long as he can for the people he love. Im so lucky that im one of those special people to his life. Having someone like him is a one time luck that will never last unless everything is not working anymore.
There was a time that i was being emo i was like
"why you can do that to her and you cant do that to me? You said i was better then why you can't" Im always like that when im emo. I know im being wrong but jealous + emo gf will always like that but still please enlighten me.
So because of that i feel like he's being forced to do something what he thought i want. He edited my pic and posted it to his fb page and different page on fb. To be honest i didnt wanted it, the main reason why i was jealous that time was i saw to his fb long time ago, he posted to his timeline mentioning his ex saying he loves her. He never do that to me but i want :(
So simple but i think posting to fb page is better but to be honest i think, when someone saying they love you to their fb and let their friends see it is the best feeling than any fancy thing on earth plus it's less effort.
I get to know his friends and Im also in a groupchat with some of his friends. They do trading of memes there. I just have to stop demanding and just be thankful because he is mine and he loves me.
