//ALTER//

i.iii

I did pass out and no it wasn't on purpose. I was too freaked out to keep my head together. I woke up for the second time on the same bed and room...still in the same life I woke up in.

"Thank goodness, she's awake," I heard my mom say in relief.

Suddenly, my mind was flooded with fear and panic as I remember the accident; my mom's wrecked car that I didn't mean to get caught in an accident yesterday. I didn't mean to fuck up.

"Bella, baby. Careful," my mom said as she helped me together with Patrick in supporting me up as I dragged my body to sit upright on this glorious bed.

"Mom, I'm sorry about your car. I swear I didn't wreck it on purpose." I cleared my throat afterwards.

My mom looked at me funny as she handed me a glass of water, which I took and drank to the bottom. "You mean your car?" She tried to clarify.

My car? I don't have a fucking car! My mom has the only car and it's the one that I also use when running for errands and for my night classes; the one that also got caught in an accident just yesterday.

"N-no, mom. I don't have a car. I'm talking about your car." My heartbeat was wildly racing, making my voice slightly tremble. I'm trying to pace my breathing to try to calm myself down.

"Oh." She paused, obviously confused with what I'm talking about. "Well, my car is in the garage. Just as pristine as the first day I bought it." My mom assured me, giving me a small smile.

"And your car is in the garage too," Patrick added like it would make anything better.

I don't know if I should be relieved or stay weirded out and confused a s hell that mom and I have our own car and that everything seems just fine. Oh and that she's nicer than usual. Or be more suspicious of everything.

There's a brief silence.

"Whose house is this?" I asked, my mind starting to go bonkers from so much curiosity and confusion. I could picture invisible hands emerging from the pit of my being, desperately grasping for answers in my skull like souls in purgatory grasping for salvation.

Is this life I woke up to my salvation?

"It's ours. It's our house, baby." My mom gently answered in a cautious but reassuring tone.

Damn right this is too much to take in. Too. Damn. Much. This is all too damn good to be true!

"Wait, sorry. Can you guys give me a moment? I just need to get my thoughts together. I'm so out of it." I said, which isn't a lie. I'm really out of whatever reality I'm currently in. This isn't a dream at all.

"It's okay. Feel better soon, baby." My mom lightheartedly as she gently rested her hand on my temple and leaned down to plant a kiss on the top of my head. Then she proceeded to walk her way out of my room. It's weird calling this beautiful room my room and that super nice mom my mom.

There's just so much going on to focus on one thing. "I feel so bad. I don't know what's going on." I helplessly groaned as I slumped forward and covered my face with my hands.

I felt Patrick gingerly snaked his arm around my shoulder, resting both his hands on both sides of my arms, gently and slowly rubbing up and down to calm me down. I focused on the gentle rubbing motion and worked on slowing my breathing down.

I need someone else to at least know what's going on and the only person that I can trust with anything is Patrick, but this Patrick is not even the Patrick I've always known!

"You can tell me anything, love. Anything." Patrick assured me. It was like he heard my loud thoughts.

I don't know what to do. Well, I know what to do and that is to tell Patrick everything, but I don't know how the fuck I'm going to do that or where I'm going to start.

"Patrick, I need you to listen. Whatever I'm gonna say, you have to take it at face value, okay?" Oh I don't know. Whatever. Fuck it.

His brows slightly furrowed in full attention and worry, but he looks eager to listen to whatever I'm about to say. I don't knowidontknowidontknow—

I reached my hands out to hold both of his hands for emotional, mental, spiritual, and all-aspects-of-my-being support.

"Okay," I breathed out and looked straight into his eyes. I really don't know how to put all of these into words. Fuck it. Whatever. "I have no idea what kind of life this is not who and what you guys are. I don't think I belong here."