Dirty Deeds

CH 24: On the Road

    Here's the thing about Punk: He doesn't like normal music. He also doesn't want to hear couples talk. In short, he's a pain in the ass to have in the car when he's not in charge of the radio or the topic. I'm trying to find neutral topics so that we don't have to turn on the radio, and so that he and Matt don't resort to fighting again. In the second hour of the trip, I thought they were going to kill each other. I actually had to take Matt's keys so that he wouldn't drive off when we stopped at a gas station. Yeah, this was a bad idea. But we're almost there, and I just have to fill the last twenty minutes or so of the deadly silence.

"How are the pictures coming along?" I ask Matt.

"Pictures? You mean the ones I'm sending to Tara and Tony?"

"Yes."

Matt gives me a smile. He looks relieved. "Not too bad. I've got to get a few more signed and then I'll send the last batch." He pauses. "That one with you and Layla is in this batch, and I don't think she's going to sign it if I ask."

"I doubt she will if I ask, either," I admit. "Punk?"

"What?" I look back at him and discover that he's toying with his hair. "I'm sorry, I wasn't listening."

"Do you think you could ask Layla to sign a picture for me?"

Punk pauses, his gaze going from his hair to me. "Um, McCool?"

"Yes?"

"You've known Layla a long time, right?"

"Yes. But what does that have to do with..."

Punk interrupts me. "So if you want her autograph... which I don't get, by the way... maybe you should stop acting like a fangirl and just ask her?" I give him a confused look. "Why do you want her autograph, anyway? Are you starting a book of WWE autographs or something? If that's the case, why haven't you asked for mine yet? I'm a way bigger star than Layla!"

Matt snickers. I stare at Punk. "You really weren't listening, were you?"

"I'm sorry," he says. "But you guys just keep talking about boring stuff! I'd sleep if I could get past the sound of your voices!"

"Do you remember when I brought Tara over to meet you?"

"I remember," he says, his tone sullen. "You told her to call me Mr. Cuddle Monkey." Matt's cracking up. I eye him, hoping he won't swerve us into the next lane. "Shut up, Hardy," Punk says, smacking Matt on the shoulder.

"Hey!" Matt protests. "No abusing the driver!"

"Punk," I say, "focus. I took a picture with Tara and Layla and I need Layla to sign it. She's not talking to me, and Matt won't be able to get her to sign it. So I was thinking maybe you could get her to sign it for me."

Punk sits back in his seat. "You're asking me for help?"

"Yes."

"Even after..." He stops and shakes his head. "Never mind."

I know what he's thinking, and I'm glad he doesn't say it. "Yeah. Do you think you can ask her for me? I'd owe you one."

Punk sighs. "Fine, McCool. But only because you agree you'll owe me one."

I smirk. "Nice to know where your priorities are, Punk."

"You knew you could count on me, or you wouldn't even ask," Punk says, smirking back at me. "There was never any doubt in your mind that I would, was there?"

"There's always some doubt."

He rolls his eyes at me. "Sure, McCool. Just keep telling yourself that."

"I'll get them to you tonight in catering, then," Matt says. "Unless you want to come with me to my room while I look for them?"

Punk is quiet for a long moment. "Gee, Hardy, I like you and everything, but I somehow doubt McCool would approve."

Matt turns red and I lean back to smack Punk's shoulder. "Ha ha. Catering it is."

"Ow," Punk says, rubbing his shoulder. "I'd like to know why you always hurt the ones you love, sunshine."

I sigh. "Who says I love you?"

Punk gives me his best sad puppy look. "You don't?" He fake sniffles. "But... but I thought I was your Cuddle Monkey?" Matt snickers again. "Shush, Hardy, I'm trying to earn your girlfriend's love here."

I say, "Aw, poor Cuddle Monkey. I'm sorry. I love you, okay?"

"Yay!" Punk says, bouncing in the backseat. He grins at me, then leans over the front seat so that he is next to Matt's ear. "Hey, Hardy. Hardy."

"What?" Matt asks.

"Michelle loves me!" Punk says in a sing song voice, laughing at the end.

Matt glances at me. "The next time he asks for a six pack of Pepsi, say no."

Punk sits back, pouting. "Why is he so rude?" he asks me.

I give Punk my best bright smile. "Because he loves you, too, and you always hurt the ones you love, remember?"

"It's true, Cuddle Monkey," Matt says, trying very hard to keep a straight face.

"Really?" Punk asks, batting his eyes at Matt. "Aw, I love you, tooo, Matty Matt!"

The three of us are laughing when we pull into the hotel lot. Despite the tension in the earliest part of the trip, I think we're all going to make it through the day as friends.