Dirty Deeds

CH 7: Return Trip

    We get back to the hotel with no incident. Matt's been quiet pretty much the whole way. Once the car is parked, he turns to me. "I haven't forgotten about my question."

I turn in my seat so that I can look at him. "Which question's that?"

"What's gotten into you lately?"

"Oh. That question." I close my eyes, not wanting to meet his gaze as I talk. "I had a really good day with you, Matt."

"Me too," he says. "And it was sweet of you to give those kids tickets to tonight's show. But that still doesn't answer the question."

"Have you ever woke up and been afraid to look in the mirror?" I ask. Matt's quiet, so I open my eyes and look at him. He's giving me a suspicious look. "What?"

"Is this some kind of trap?" he asks. "Where I say something, and then you make a snide comment about how I should be afraid to look in a mirror?"

"No!" I say. "God. Am I really that awful?"

"Usually, yeah."

I sigh. "I want to be a better person, Matt, but it's hard. I've never been someone who cared what anyone else thought of me. I didn't want to be liked. But sometimes, when I'm alone, I feel so... empty. Like if I died tomorrow, no one would care about me. The rest of the company would shrug and go on with their lives. If something happened to you, they'd mourn. But me?" I shook my head.

"Maybe if you weren't such a shallow bitch all the time," he said.

I gawked at him. "Did you just call me a bitch?"

"A shallow bitch," he said.

"Nice to know that's what you think of me."

"Well, I did until today." He frowns at me. "But you took the time to come with me to the food bank and you were so sweet with Tara. I've never seen that side of you, Michelle. I doubt many people have."

I doubt it, too, since it didn't really exist before today. But something about Matt Hardy- nice, sweet Matt Hardy- calling me a bitch makes me want... something. I don't even know what it is, just that there's a sense of longing in my chest, a feeling that's been growing since Tara wrapped herself around my waist and refused to let go. Matt and I were a team today, and it felt good. "I suppose."

"You should show it more often." He seems oblivious to my inner turmoil, which is good. I want to scream at him, Matt Hardy, what are you doing to me? But that's not a good idea, because he won't know the answer, and it will only make this all the more confusing. He's still looking at me. "We should go in. There's still a lot to do before the show tonight."

"Yeah." And as much as what he's saying makes sense, I don't want to go. The second we get out of the car, things will go back to normal between us. "Hey Matt, do you think we could ever be... friends?"

Matt smiles at me. "Before today, I'd have said no way in hell. But now? Yeah, I think maybe we can." He gets out of the car, and I follow suit. "I had a nice time today."

"Me too."

"Don't forget about those tickets."

"I won't."

We're both standing there, staring at one another like idiots. "Well. Better get going."

"Yeah."

"Maybe we can do this again sometime."

"Sure," I say, "but next time, let's skip the part where you try to kill me in the park, okay?"

Matt laughs. "No promises, but I'll try. See you tonight, Michelle." And then he turns and walks away, leaving me next to the car.

"Bye," I mutter, staring after him. All I'd wanted was a walk in the park to clear my head and make things easier in my bet with Layla. What I'd gotten, though, was a day with Matt Hardy where we'd clicked. You'd think that would make things easier, wouldn't you? It hadn't. I used to think he was a loser, someone contemptible that I could make fun of. Now, though, I was starting to think we might possibly be friends someday.