The Abnormality Of The Normality

'You don't have a choice'

Five days pass. Jack only visits to force the odd tasting water down my throat. He doesn't bring anymore food. My bones have begun to show through my skin. My skin has turned a murky bluey purple. I can't move any part of my body without pain coursing through my veins. I have cried all my tears and my memories have become hazy. Some memories return in my sleep, but the figures are becoming more and more faded. It's the third night that I have the most vivid dream so far.

'It's the night before my wedding. I'm staying at my only friends house, Melissa. She works in a local bar and is the only person Jack has ever approved of. I've forgotten my white high heals at the house so she drives me back to mine so we can quickly retrieve them. I quickly head into my art studio and open my cupboard where I had been keeping them. I am startled by a sudden giggle. I don't recognise the laugh. It wasn't Jack or Melissa. I pick the shoes up and follow the noise up to the spare bedroom. The door is slightly ajar. The scene before me makes me want to vomit. A young woman around my own age is laying on the bed whilst Jack lay on top of her. The girl's eyes meet with mine and I drop the shoes in shock. The girl stops laughing and an unearthly silence spreads throughout the entire building. Jack looks up and follows the girls gaze to meet mine. He gets up and walks towards the door where I now stand covering my mouth. He turns to the girl "I'll be back in a minute" before closing the door on her and locking it.

He grabs on to my hand and drags me to the master bedroom. "How could you?" is the only sentence I can manage. The words he next chooses to say hit me like a tone of bricks, "because she's better". Those three words pierce me through my chest. I raise my hand to slap him but he catches my hand mid air with his own. "I wouldn't do that if I were you," he warns. My tears begin to betray me as the scene replays in my mind for the hundredth time since it had happened a few moments ago. "We're supposed to be getting married tomorrow" I cry. He looks as if he is agitated before replying "We are getting married. You will marry me. And you know why?" he looks at me for an answer before continuing, "You're going to marry me because nobody else in their right mind would ever want to marry you. You will be a disappointment in your parent's eyes. You don't have a choice. You're a worthless bitch who will die alone if you don't marry me." Each word feels like a red hot poker stabbing me straight through my chest. "And anyway, It's your fault Sarah is here in the first place." That last bit ripped the rest of the remains of my heart out. "H...H..... how come" I manage to muster as I cower in front of him. Instead of answering my question he takes me by my left wrist, holding tightly he gives me no choice but to comply as he drags me back downstairs, picking the shoes up before chucking me out the front door. He passes my shoes to me before walking up to me. He hugs me close and whispers into my ear so nobody else can hear him, "You'll marry me tomorrow if you know what's best for you." And on that note he turns around and shuts the door behind him, Leaving me stood feeling worthless all alone.

The dream then fast forwards to me walking down the aisle. I'm wearing an ivory white lace dress. It's a simple but tight-fitting elegant dress that shows of my slim figure. I'm wearing a pair of white lace gloves to cover the fresh imprints on my right wrist. My hair is up in a half up, half down style. A couple of sprigs of baby's breath styled into the back. My veil comes down to my shoulders, ivory lace matching my dress. My make-up is simple yet elegant. For the first time in a very long time, I feel beautiful.

My father holds my arm as he walks me down the aisle, a smile plastered onto his face. I keep looking forwards. I look past the man waiting for me. My father lets go of me as I stand next to Jack. Jack turns to me and opens up my veil to reveal my face. He leans in as if to kiss my cheek but instead whispers in my ear so nobody else can hear "She was the best I've ever had". His words pierce through me like a skewer. I manage to compose myself and force a smile. I have no choice but to continue. The vicars words go straight over my head. It isn't until I feel Jack nudge my side do I realise I have been addressed. "Oh, umm, sorry" I stammer. The vicar just smiles and repeats himself to which I then repeat. "I Alexadria Lucy Miller do take thee Jackson Mathew Baldwin to be my lawfully wedded husband" The vicar clasps his hands together and announces us as married as Jack forces the ring onto my finger.'

I wake up suddenly. My heart is pounding against my hollow chest. I feel as though a colossal amount of adrenaline has been emptied into my veins. I begin to panic as the walls begin to close in on me. I can't catch my breath. Minutes pass and I continue to hyperventilate. My chest burns as I slowly begin to calm my breathing. Sweat drenching my clothes.

To my surprise the rope holding my right arm has begun to loosen and I find myself being able to free one hand. I hastily begin to untie my other hand, ignoring the agonising pain coursing through my body. After roughly 10 minutes I have managed to untie all ropes and am able to clamber off of the bed. I hear the doorbell ring downstairs. A voice echoes throughout the house, "Al? Are you there?" I manage to make my self over to the window. Prising myself up by the window ledge I bang the glass as hard as I can, Preying to god that Jack wasn't home. I watch as a young woman walks away from the house. She turns a final time making direct eye contact with me as she scans each window. The pain is unbearable and I find myself collapsing to the floor. A loud banging and crashing sounds from downstairs. I watch as the door is bashed in, making eye contact one last time with the woman from my dreams before allowing my eyes to close one final time.