Just us

Chapter 6

-I'm just going to go out for a bit, don't worry I will get back soon.

I closed the door, took my car keys and sat down inside, looking at my reflection in the rear mirror I said unther my breath.

-I just need to know.

I drove over to the nearest cafe, they have computers in there, so I could lookup, some stuff... Yes I can do that at my home, but Jacq, or Thomas, or I don't know, I just don't want him to see what I am looking at. I locked my car and went inside.

-Good day, how may I help you!

-Am, yeah, I just need to use one of your computers.

-You need to order something so you can use our computers, that is the store policy.

-Okey then, can you get me a glass of your finest water? Thanks.

I moved away from the waiter, and sat down on one of the chairs, and put my bag on the table as I started to google "multiple personality disorder". I am not a person who likes to judge, but last night, I guess just freaked me out, I need to know with who I am living.

"Dissociative identity disorder , previously known as multiple personality disorder, is a mental disorder characterized by the maintenance of at least two distinct and relatively enduring personality states. This is accompanied by memory gaps beyond what would be explained by ordinary forgetfulness."

Oh this realy sounds like Jacq, he is always scattered, and these, am, personalities of his it makes sense, but how does DID occur? Let me see.

"Some professionals believe the cause to be childhood trauma. In about 90% of cases, there is a history of abuse in childhood, while other cases are linked to experiences of war or health problems during childhood. Genetic factors are also believed to play a role."

Childhood abuse, oh my, Jacq probably went through hell, I was right not to make a scene when he told me. Oh now I am even more worried, what if he has a personality that is dangerous like his abuser.

"Although DID is missing from almost all the research on mental illness and violence, it gets alot of focus in films about mental illness, particularly those in the horror and thriller genres which portray people with dissociative self-states as prone to violence including homicide, or within comedies that poke fun at the “outlandishness” of dissociative self-states. "

-I never liked those movies, I just hate horror.

"At times, aggressive self-states within individuals with DID threaten other self-states, which some patients perceive to be internalized homicidal ideation and threats, but if carried out, would result in suicide and not homicide."

So I guess he may not have a murderer inside, he just might be suicidal, but who knows. Thomas said something about being a protector? What does that mean?

-Here you go, your glass of water.

-Took you long, just put it here.

-Sure, sorry for the wait.

She smiled at me and put the glass on the table, but as she did so the glass flipped over and spilled all of the water on me. I stood up and wiped myself with some napkins that were in my bag.

- I am so sorry.

-No need to be sorry, just let me be.

I sat back down so I could finish my research. So where was I, oh yea the protector stuff, let me see. So the personalities, are actualy called alters and they have their roles, they can front, what does that mean? Oh fronting like who is going to come out and talk. This link might help explane what roles do alter have.
"Ten types of alters in DID". Okey so we have  animal, infant, childe or little alters, dead, demonic, fictives, fragments, gatekeepers, persecutors, and, oh protectors!