𝐰𝐨𝐥𝐟𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐝. imagines [ discontinued ]

pain ( f.w )

WARNING!
- this imagine consists of self-harm, please skip chapter if you get triggered for these types of shit.

( READ BEFORE READING CHAPTER )

" This is basically me expressing what I go through everyday but with no Finn or no one beside me to comfort me.

So I hope this raises more awareness to anxiety or depression, so you guys would know what it would feel like to go through it

Please do not worry though. I really have been three months clean and not really planning to cut very soon. I hope you enjoy this chapter. "

•••

I cry loudly as I sit on the cold tiles of my bathroom floor. It's another anxiety attack again.

I've been receiving texts from my step-sister almost all my life, having to tell her what I'm doing, what I'm eating, reminders of simple that she reiterated over and over again everyday.

Today, she accused me of doing something a complete normal human being would do but not for her.

Though I didn't do it, she still suspects. Even if she sees something she called 'suspicious' on my phone or laptop, she'd go ballistic on me.

It's been going on since preschool as a kid and it was and still is very emotionally draining.

My boyfriend Finn knows about this shit going on since we became best friends. He always had despised my step-sister.

The way she'd check my phone for apps like instagram or even wattpad, I'd have to hide every single one of them just to keep myself safe from her wrath.

I try to muffle my cries with the palm of my friend to refrain from anyone in the house hearing it, but failing miserably.

'Fuck it' I thought and let out ugly sobs, feeling my face heat up and my head spinning.

Trying to emit much pain to my own body as possible, I hit my head repeatedly with my two fists to stop the aching thoughts in my head.

I've been hitting myself because I wasn't allowed to cut anymore ever since Finn saw my cuts while we were skating two years ago.

I feel my hands shake and my heartbeat quickens as I couldn't stabilize my breath anymore.

Like everything I was holding in was coming at me right now, I felt like I had to do something.

I've been clean for about three months now and Finn has been really supportive and proud of me. But I didn't like it one bit.

It then became a blur and next thing I knew I had bloody cuts all over my thighs.

"Hey babe?" I suddenly heard a loud voice boom throughout the hallway.

My eyes widen and I rush to put on my pants, hiding my cutter and cleaning all the mess I previously made.

"Where are you?" Finn asked.