Pissbaby's Daughter 【 BTS FF 】

Chapter 3: Hot Guy At Moonbucks

After getting a drink with Namjoon and completely ignoring my dyslexic mom, we were having a discussion about whos tetas were bigger and finally i won! I had told Namjoon that i gave a part of mine to him at birth and that's why they were so big. That idiot even believed me. Before leaving Moonbucks, i wanted to throw the rest of my drink away. i didnt wanna be rude for once so i tried to drink the rest of it. on my way back to our table i accidentally bumped into someone. ''OH FUCK sorry!, i exclaimed trying to see the persons face. ''Its ok..'', said a deep ass raspy voice. OHmYHFUCKING GOD HE WAS SO HOT!! The guy had black long-ish hair, brown eyes and a mask ''May i ask, why are you wearing a mask??'', i asked with a curious expression. ''Ya ever heard of the coronavirus?'' He was right that shitty disease was spreading really fast. I was not gonna watch my sars infected mother steal another man from me so i decided on asking the handsome corona man for his binstagram but before i could even come back to my senses he walked out of the store. ''Rude bitch'' i was thinking in my head. Wait, i saw something on the floor.'' An ID??'' i questioned as i looked at the object on the floor. His name is Kim Taehyung and his age.. 19 THIS BITCH IS MY AGE. Before my retarded pea brain could think of anything else or how i was gonna return the ID, Namjoon crept up behind me and said: "He looks like he has the fattest schlong, and trust me, I'm never wrong with this kind of stuff."

I immediately searched up the beautiful stranger when I was home. Turns out he was kinda famous? He was a youtuber with a pretty big following at least. That's how my afternoon turned into a binge session of watching this hot man do covers of Justin Bieber songs. I wondered if I should DM him, since I had his ID and all, but I was nervous. I never had to work to get a man before! But since this bitch was famous and I didn't want to get a restraining order for keeping his ID, I slid into those DMs as fast as my mom should've slipped into a coma. "Hey, I saw you today at Moonbucks and you dropped your ID. I wasn't able to return it in time, but maybe we could meet up sometime?", I realized how shady this sounded and hoped this "KIm Taehyung" guy wouldn't think I was trying to kidnap him or something. I quickly sent the message and shut off my computer. I then proceeded to open it again, because I had forgotten to attach the picture of his ID. But before I could do that, it looked like he had already blocked me. "This bitch gonna be ID-less forever, damn", I sighed.

"Jooonnnn, the hot guy blocked meeeee", I whined sadly. I ended up calling him after the situation, since he knew how to cheer me up. Namjoon saw silent for a few minutes, which I found pretty concerning. This bitch could usually never keep his damn mouth shut. "Hey uh, so you know how I said his wiener is probably really long?", he suddenly mentioned. "Uh yeah, what about it??", I squeaked nervously. Namjoon exhaled loudly. "So uh, I may or may not know his brother p r e t t y well and uhhhhh,,, I thought the big pp thing was genetics." I gasped loudly. What the fuck?? Is Namjoon a big gay bitch?? W H A T?? "What's his brothers name??", I questioned. I could hear him biting his fingernails on the other side of the phone. Gross. "Well, you know how his name is Kim Taehyung right?" I agreed to his statement. "You ever heard of Kim Seokjin?"

Kim Seokjin.. HOL UP wasnt that the new guy that watched things with me in class?? ''w a i t, you mean black haired weirdo man?'', i said as i was questioning my life existence. ''Y-yeah that guy..'', said Namjoon in a shy-like tone. ''I kinda know his address'',he added. ''OK LETS GO THEN'', i screamed before Namjoon cut me off. ''Girl they have a really good security system though'', he said while looking at me. '' That's why i have my karate chop skills Namjoon d uH!'', i said confidently. Since i had convinced him to track down his ex-fling and his brother we hopped in his car and drove off. While sitting chilling listening to some Lo-Fi Hip hop studying music, my rotten sperm banana squirming mother had called me.