Me And My Bastards (A Young Ones Fanfic)

Prank Part Three

Jerzei, their landlord, popped in for a visit.

"So you want me to tell Rick that I'm warning everyone about a burglar on the loose?"

"Yeah, me and Rick are having a prank war, he used my toothbrush, I spiced his dinner up, he booby trapped the bathroom, I pissed in his bed, and other pranks before now. I wanna get em good."

"What's the point, it's childish," Neil said.

"We all agreed on this Neil, remember?"

"I know I'm just saying, this prank will be heavy man."

"Heavier than a ton weight in gym."

"Heavier than that, it'll be heavier than Moby Dick," Mike said.

"Heavier than a fat cross dresser!" Vyvyan said.

"Some like it hot, some like it heavy, that's all I gotta say about that," El said.

Vyvyan laughed.

"Hahaha, I got that Eleanor."

"Rick's coming, act natural, no...act worried!" Jerzei said.

Rick walked in.

"Rick, oh Rick!"

El gave him a hug.

"What's going on here, Eleanor why the hugs and wails, why is everyone weird all of a sudden?"

"Rick."

"Oh hi Jerzei."

"Rick, I just informed your flatmates that there is a burglar on the loose in these parts, be sure to lock all windows and doors tonight and while all of you are out."

"A burglar?"

"Yeah, what if we get robbed huh?"

El was fake crying.

"...Oh...it's a prank isn't it? Hahaha, oh Eleanor, you can't finish me off that easy!"

"...Rick, why would you say such things! Jerzei told us."

"I did," Jerzei butted in.

"So it's not a prank, why would you say that Rick!?"

Even though El was acting she decided to make a big scene.

"Jerzei just informed us, it's not a prank, it's real!"

"Just fess up everybody!"

Silence.

"Come on Rick, this is no pranking matter," Mike said sternly.

"It's true?"

"Yes!" They yelled.

"El, since this is really serious, the prank war has been stopped, nobody wins, pretend it didn't happen!"

"You still owe me a toothbrush, I'm starting to taste like dead mice."

"Fine, I'll get you one! You buy me a mattress in return."

"Done."

Rick started getting paranoid for the rest of the day.

At dinner, Rick was pale to the sound of a pen dropping.

"Dropped my pen I'm sorry guys," Mike said.

"Why do you have a pen at dinner Michael," Vyvyan asked.

"I always carry a pen at all times just in case I need it. It's better to have it and not need it than to need it and not have it."

They all shrugged. Then, he heard a popping sound.

"Ahhh!" He screamed.

"Rick, it was just the house popping, it does that after the weather warms or cools down throughout the day, nothing to be worried about," Neil said.

"Breathe Rick, breathe mate," El said.

Rick inhaled and exhaled aggressively.

"Rick, can you breathe calmer?"

Calm but still aggressive.

"Calmer."

Even more but still aggressive.

"Rick!"

He was breathing normal, then looked at El.

"Thanks Eleanor," Rick said in sarcasm.

"You're welcome Rick," she bit back.