Cassidy and Carter

Chapter 19: Cassidy

My phone rings on my nightstand and I reach for it blindly. I finally slap my hand onto it and drag it to me. I turn it towards me and the light blinds me for a moment. I see Abby's name on the screen and click answer.

"Hello?" I mumble into the phone. It better be important since it's the middle of the night.

"Hey babe. So I need you to get up and let me in. I'm at the door with Naomi."

"What's wrong Abby? What happened?" I'm out of the bed and stumbling towards the front door in a panic. They wouldn't be here unless it was bad. Benji? Carter?

"Come to the door Cass."

"I'm there, I'm there." I say as I simultaneously rip the door open and hang up the phone. They are in pajamas and look haggard.

"What's wrong? Tell me now!" I half scream at them.

"Cassidy calm down before you wake the girls." Naomi tells me with a solemn look on her face. She's right. I take a breath. Abby steps in the house,

"Carter was shot babe. He's at the hospital and they are taking him into surgery now. He was hit in the shoulder and they have to get the bullet out. The doctor says the bullet didn't stray from his shoulder and he's confident he can get it out, but he's not in the clear yet."

She talks quickly, knowing I need to hear it all and right this moment before I freak the fuck out. It's too late, I'm freaking the fuck out. She hugs me to her and I sob into her hair. I have so many questions, but none are formulating.

"What?" I say hysterically.

"Carter was shot, he's in surgery and you and I are going to get you dressed and go to the hospital. Naomi will stay with the girls."

She's reiterating what happened knowing my brain can't comprehend. She's telling me what we need to do, but I don't think I can move. He's going to die and my sisters and I will lose another person we love. We won't survive this.

I can't breathe. My chest is so tight I think I might be having a heart attack. This feels like a heart attack.

"You're not having a heart attack. We are getting dressed and going to the hospital. Naomi is staying with the girls."

I can't tell what I'm speaking out loud or what is in my head. Naomi is staying with the girls. Abby turns me and guides me down the hallway to my room. She pulls leggings over my bare legs and helps me put a bra on under my sleep shirt. She pulls me back towards the front door and laces my tennis shoes.

That's all I remember before we're pulling into the hospital parking lot. I don't remember the drive or if Abby spoke to me. I have my bearings now. I know this, I'm familiar with this. This isn't my hospital, but they are all the same. I walk through the ER doors and see Benji sitting with Carter's Dad in the back of the lobby. As I get closer I can see Benji's hands stained red from blood. I also see the stains on his uniform that will never come out.

"Update?" I request from Benji. I'm in professional mode now. I need to assess this as a nurse and not as Carter's girlfriend. I need to detach my emotions for a night so I can survive this. Otherwise I won't survive this.

"The surgeon just came out and said the bullet is out and there was no serious damage. He expects Carter to make a full recovery and have complete use of his arm and hand after some physical therapy. They did a couple blood transfusions and his blood pressure and heart rate are in normal ranges now. One of us can go back to sit with him in 20 minutes when they get him settled."

I breathe out a sigh of relief and collapse to the chair next to Benji. My muscles feel like jelly and I'm sore like I've been working out for hours. Exhaustion hits me hard and the shaking starts. I know I'm in shock and this is my body's normal trauma response. He's not going to die. He's not going to die. He's not going to die. I keep chanting this in my head, but then my nurse brain reminds me of all of the complications that can occur after surgery and my anxiety notches up again.