Alive and Breathing (Adopted By Alex Gaskarth)

Chapter Three

TRIGGER WARNING

Morgan
Alex left a few minutes later and I was left alone with my thoughts. My head was never a good place to be alone in. People always leave, I always get abandoned. How long would it be till they left me behind? Why did they choose me anyways? I sighed and began to finish unpacking, putting my things away. At the bottom, beneath my meds I found my old "makeup" bag. I unzipped it and pulled out my old friend. The cold metal on my fingers made me shiver. Of course, I kept it hidden. I made very small cuts, usually on my legs. My doctors never suspected a thing, I was a great actor.

I slid the razor back into the bag and put the bag in my underwear drawer. I decided I would shower to clear my head. I grabbed my clothes and walked into the bathroom attached to my room. It was stocked with things I would need. I locked the door and slipped out of my clothes. I eyed my reflection in the mirror, disgusted by myself. I had scars on my abdomen and my chest. The place where my PICC line remained poked out of my skin as well as my g-tube where liquid nutrition was fed directly into my stomach.

I was naturally small, with cystic fibrosis I had to eat double the amount of calories a healthy athlete my age would eat. I turned away from the mirror and turned the water on. I shampooed my hair, getting lost in my thoughts. After awhile, I just kind of stood in the water. "Come on, Morgan! Just turn the water knob over, you know you want that familiar sting!"my conscience taunted me with the thought of feeling scalding water on my arm again. "No, I just got here. The guys don't deserve to see me like this,"I whispered to myself. Eventually, the thoughts became too much and I reached for the water knob without thinking about what I was doing or what this would mean.

The water got hot fast. I pulled my body away from it and put my arm out, feeling the sting and burn as the hot water hit it over and over again. I sighed. A knock on the door, startled me out of my reverie. "Morgan, are you okay in there?"Alex asked. "Shit, it's Alex,"I panicked internally. "Morgan, I'm gonna come in,"Alex said. "NO! Alex, I promise I'm fine, I'm finishing up my shower now,"I said, trying to make my voice steady as I replied though I felt the tears in my eyes.

I shut the water off and looked down at the brilliant red of my skin. I knew it wouldn't fade any time soon. I hurried to slide clothes on. The mirror was steamed up. I pulled my leggings on and my tank top, pulling my hoodie over my head. I opened the door to find Alex right outside of it, looking at something on my desk chair. I realized then he was looking at my Aflo vest, nebulizer, and meds. He turned, startled at the sound of the door opening. "Morgan!"he sounded surprised. I raised an eyebrow. "I didn't mean to pry into your stuff. It was just sitting here and I wanted to be sure you were okay. I just spoke with your doctors and they said it would be okay but to keep a close eye on you,"Alex explained. "Fuck, fuck, fuck, he knows,"I thought. I managed to nod my head.

"So, if you don't mind me asking, what is all of this stuff?"Alex asked. "That,"I pointed to the Aflo Vest,"is my Aflo Vest. It clears mucus from my lungs by vibrating. I use the nebulizer next to it at the same time,"I explained. "Is this all of your meds?"Alex asked. "Yeah, I take 12 at breakfast, 8 at lunch, and 12 more at dinner before taking 4 before bed,"I explained. Alex opened his mouth for a moment before closing it. "Is there anything I can do to help?"Alex asked. I shook my head no.

"Alright, well dinner is ready downstairs if you wanna come with me?"Alex asked, raising an eyebrow. I followed him out of my room before he stopped. "Morg, what were you doing in the shower for so long? I felt the heat when you opened the door,"Alex said. "N-Nothing,"I stuttered. Alex seemed unsure but decided to drop it as we reached the bottom of the stairs. I felt really winded and struggled to catch my breath as we entered the kitchen.

A tall, hyper man came running at me and wrapping me into a tight hug. "Morgan, we're gonna be best friends or I'll be your favorite uncle or dad,"the man hurried out. I gently returned his hug, hoping to fill my lungs with more oxygen. He pulled away, noticing the fear and anxiety in my eyes. "Oh. I'm Jack, I play guitar for All Time Low,"he explained. I sighed and smiled. The white teethed man approached next. He stuck his hand out. "I'm Rian, I play drums,"he introduced. I shook his hand politely. They sort of already did this introduction process but it helped I swore to remember their names. I felt bad for having already forgotten.

"I'm Zack, I play bass,"the muscular one said, giving me a small wave which I appreciated. I really like Alex and Zack seemed chill and quiet. Rian seemed like an older brother/parent figure while Jack seemed like the friendly party guy who was everyone's best friend. "So, one question, who is my actual adoptive father?"I asked. "I am!"the guys answered collectively. Alex glared at them and turned to me. "I am your adoptive dad, technically those three are your uncles cause we're basically brothers. We've been together since high school, playing music and touring the world together,"Alex explained. I put my arm around his waist, pulling him into a side hug. "Welcome to the family, kid!"Alex said and I smiled, leaning into his arm.

A/N: hey, y'all! Sorry for the slight trigger warning this chapter. I just have done a lot of thinking and I have good days and bad days. My mental health is rough and for me writing about my headspace helps. I wasn't going to make this book like my others but then things got shitty in my head and it seemed easier to do that because it helps me. I apologize for that. Lemme know your thoughts on Morgan! Stay safe and much love!

B