Alive and Breathing (Adopted By Alex Gaskarth)

Chapter Four

Possible trigger warning

Morgan
I smiled softly at the guys, happy to finally have a family. I had somewhere to belong. "Don't get too attached, Morgan, they'll leave you too. Everyone always does. You're too much to deal with,"I thought. Zack sat down the last plate on the table. Alex coughed. "We, uh, made dinner to celebrate bringing you home,"Alex said. "Thanks, guys!"I said and walked over, taking a seat. I made a small plate, not feeling hungry with the butterflies in my stomach.

"Are you sure that's all you're gonna eat? Your doctor said you had to have at least 3000 calories a day if not more,"Alex said. I nodded. "I'm not very hungry, I had a lot of food today and then there's my g-tube,"I explained. "Okay,"Alex said, skeptically. He looked at Jack who had made a face. "OW! WHAT WAS THAT FOR?"Jack yelled. My eyes widened in surprise. Jack made eye contact with me. "Oh, uh, sorry Morgan. Sometimes the table attacks my legs and I yell,"Jack said awkwardly, acting sheepish with a blush coloring his cheeks.

I looked at Jack and we all sat in an awkward silence for a moment before everyone looked at Jack and burst out laughing. "Can't---breathe,"I gasped, laughing so hard I was crying and holding my stomach because it hurt. "Really?---that--was the best---you could come up with?"Rian asked in between breaths and bursts of laughter. I decided then I liked these four men and hoped with every part of me that they wouldn't abandon me or let go like everyone else had. I needed someone to hold onto and someone to hold onto me even when things got hard.

Eventually, with many more laughs and stories exchanged about crazy times they have had on tour, we finished dinner. "So, Morgan, what's your favorite movie? What do you like to watch?"Zack asked. "Uhm, I'm not sure. I mean, I watched The Outsiders for a school project and really enjoyed it but I never really got to watch much TV,"I explained. "You've never seen Star Wars or Home Alone?"Jack asked me, surprise written across his face. I shook my head no.

"Don't worry, I haven't seen Star Wars either,"Rian whispered to me. I giggled. "ALEX WE ARE WATCHING HOME ALONE. WE HAVE TO SHOW MORGAN THE WONDERFUL WORLD OF HOME ALONE!"Jack shouted, jumping up and down like a small child. Alex gave Zack an exasperated look and then sighed. "Jack...fiiiiinnneee,"Alex pouted. "What is Home Alone?"I whispered to Rian. "It's Jack's favorite movie ever,"Rian whispered back.

**********

The movie just started. We were in the living room. I was stuck in between the guys on the couch. I had a blanket on my lap, usually I was cold but for once I was sweating. I couldn't remove my hoodie for the risk of revealing my secrets. "You okay, Morgan?"Rian asked. "Yeah,"I mumbled. Alex raised his eyebrows. "Are you sure? You look like you're sweating. You can take your hoodie off,"he replied. "I'm sure, I'm good Ri,"I said, my attention returning to the movie. "Hey, uh, Zack, can you come with me a minute?"Alex asked. I looked up at him and caught my sleeve was sliding up so I caught it with my fingers to pull it down.

Rian replaced Alex the second he was gone. He put his arm around my shoulder and I snuggled closer, leaning my head on his shoulder. I automatically trusted these men which was a strange thing for me but they're my family now so I may as well get used to it.

Alex's POV
"Zack, can you grab that bowl?"I asked as I grabbed a bag of popcorn. I just saw a glimpse of Morgan's wrist when her hoodie slid up and I was concerned. There was nothing in her file about depression or anxiety or self harm. Zack handed me the bowl. "Thanks,"I said. "Alex, what's going on?"Zack asked. I sighed and ran a hand through my hair, accidentally knocking my beanie off and having to readjust it.

"What do you think about Morgan?"I asked. "She's great. I'm not sure I follow, Alex,"Zack replied. "Her hoodie sleeve slid up. Her file didn't mention self harm or depression but I'm concerned. I saw a few small scars that I know could have come from IVs but it was just strange. They looked fresh, some resembled scratches. And her arm was this faded reddish pink color almost like she'd burned herself,"I explained. Zack frowned. "If you're worried about it then maybe you should ask her,"Zack replied and then he walked away. I sighed, leaning against the counter as popcorn popped in the background.

When I finally rejoined the guys, Morgan was asleep on Rian's shoulder. "She took her meds,"Rian whispered. I gently scooped her into my arms bridal style and carried her upstairs to her room. Her eyes peeked open slightly as I pulled the blanket over her. "Night, Alex,"she mumbled, sleepily. "Night, Mor,"I said quietly, kissing her forehead gently. She rolled onto her side and again her hoodie sleeve moved, revealing exactly what I thought I saw. Her skin was a brilliant reddish color and the vein was popped out slightly. It was likely that she did this in the shower earlier. I sighed and turned out the light, leaving her room.

********

Morgan
I gasped, opening my eyes. I tried catching my breath. I hadn't dreamed about him in a long time. We were just kids, he was my best friend. We climbed the tree in the backyard all the time and once on his way down, he slipped. It was too late when help arrived. Tears slid down my cheeks. I looked at the alarm clock on my desk. 3:21 am. I sighed. Carefully I slid out of bed and padded into the hall, over to Alex's room.

"Morgan?"Alex whispered sleepily. "I had a bad dream and I can't sleep,"I mumbled, feeling childish. "C'mere,"Alex mumbled. I walked over and he slid over, making room for me on the bed. I slid in beside him and he put an arm around me. I felt safe here and then I felt myself drifting off to sleep, all prior fear erased.

A/N: hey y'all! Sorry this chapter took so long. A lot has happened in the last few weeks and I'll admit I'm struggling. I'm gonna be fine, there's just been a lot on my plate. Next chapter up soon, stay safe! Much love!

B