To Build a Home

Harvey Makes Amends

"Harvey Reginald Specter, what the hell have you done?!"

Harvey winced as he heard Donna banging loudly on his front door. Despite the fact that he genuinely wanted to go find Mike and fix the mess he had created, he also found himself mightily tempted by the conflicting desire to seek out a pair of earmuffs and hide under his bed until Donna gave up with the banging and yelling and went away. But he bravely crossed to the front door and hastily unlocked it in the interest of avoiding a noise complaint from the neighbors (not to mention the fact that Donna would never give up and leave— she'd eventually just break the door down if he didn't answer).

"Harvey, you stupid, stupid man!" Donna exclaimed, flinging the door open on her own upon hearing Harvey unlock it. She waltzed inside the apartment in a tempestuous whirlwind of fury, her eyes gleaming and her hair seeming even more fiery than usual.

"Donna—" Harvey tried to say but was immediately cut off.

"Don't 'Donna' me, Harvey Specter!" Donna said fiercely, slamming the door behind herself. "You went and did exactly what you promised you wouldn't do to Mike! You're supposed to be taking care of him, not ignoring him for weeks on end until he runs away!"

"I know that, Donna—" Harvey tried to cut in.

"Oh, you know, do you?" Donna said angrily. "You haven't even looked at Mike for a week; don't you dare stand there and tell me that you know what this has been doing to him, Harvey. Against all odds, he's managed to look even more so like an abandoned puppy than before. Despite the fact that I've been feeding him comfort food at every chance I get, he's lost weight and he looks like he hasn't slept in about 3 years. And you did that to him, after promising not to hurt him," Donna's voice had lost its anger and it was now just heavy and disappointed which made Harvey feel even worse. They had worked together for several years now and Harvey had heard her irritated, annoyed, and downright angry with him. But never disappointed. This was a new low for him. But he wasn't surprised that Donna was so passionate about this— everyone knew that she adored Mike. Mike, who had a way of sneaking into the crevices of one's life and filling up all the empty spaces that hadn't seemed empty before and leaving them gapingly open in his absence.

"You need to fix this," Donna said, her voice low and fierce. She poked Harvey in the chest for emphasis, hard.

"Ow," he said, rubbing the spot a little and trying to maintain his manly dignity. "Ok. That's going to bruise."

"Good, you big baby," Donna muttered under her breath, rolling her eyes.

"Look, Donna, I was an idiot, okay?" Harvey said. Donna arched an eyebrow at him. "Okay, fine— I am an idiot. Happy? I messed up. I let Tanner get to me and then I started overthinking everything," Harvey said, beginning to pace back and forth. "If I could take the past week back, I would. And I didn't enjoy doing it, not one bit, and I have been watching Mike and I knew how hard this was on him. But I thought I was doing the right thing at the time, Donna, I promise. I knew that it would hurt Mike initially but it would have been better in the long run— he needs to find a better person to attach to. I mean, look at me, Donna— clearly I don't know what the hell I'm doing here," Harvey ranted unhappily, dragging one of his hands raggedly through his hair in frustration with his own shortcomings.

Donna's features softened slightly. "You're a good man, Harvey, though you hide it well. But you are an idiot. Can't you see that Mike doesn't want someone else in his life? He wants you. He chose to trust you and not someone else. You. And I know that no matter how hard you try to hide it, that terrifies you— the idea that someone is looking up to you and admiring your every move. But that's a good type of fear, Harvey, because it makes you a better person. And it makes you a better parent, too," Donna said quietly, unabashedly showing her support for the father-son relationship she imagined that they had.