𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐝𝐨 → 𝐨𝐬𝐚𝐦𝐮 𝐝𝐚𝐳𝐚𝐢

OMORFIA | 08

dazai felt his phone vibrate in the back of his pockets, swiftly picking up his cell without even bothering to look at the caller id.

"dazai, are you gonna turn up here or what? am i gonna have to file an absent report - again?"

dazai groans with a free arm flailing beside him, almost hard enough to knock off his glass of wine on the kitchen counter.

"i'm just not feeling it today, odasaku. i think i might've made [name] angry."

"oh, really? what a shocker." the apparent semi-oblivious tone that oda replied with didn't help one bit.

"care to tell me what happened?"

"well," dazai pauses, taking a sip of wine. "she dropped by here yesterday - which reminds me that i forgot to ask her how she even got my address," he mutters mostly to himself.

"anyway! off topic, but she brought her kid and left him with me, asking me to take care of him for the night. they ended up sleeping over and after breakfast we kinda kissed."

"and?"

"and what?"

"there must be something you aren't telling me. the info you've given me seems to be missing a few important details."

the brunette mentally curses at his partner's close attention to specific details. even through the phone, he can probably sense his bullshit.

"well, i may or may not have hinted at her that i .. wanted to be something more. to help her ease her burdens, you know?"

oda was silent during his explanation, only humming in acknowledgement once he assessed the situation.

"are you in love with her?"

dazai purses his lips at the question. his feelings regarding this was all over the place.

"that's the thing. i don't know if it's love - i don't understand it."

"it would help if you'd describe how you really felt."

oda hears dazai take a deep breath over their call. he must feel a little overwhelmed about it all. he's known dazai for many years, understanding that he can't handle intense emotions very well. love, was definitely one of those.

"i feel this- this weird ache in my chest when she does one good thing, but it's followed by something else entirely. it's like she wants it too, but at the same time, she's holding herself back," he stammers.

"i'm trying to work out what she said before she left. she was just so vague."

"you don't think she's giving you mixed signals?"

dazai had gone silent, possibly thinking it over on his side. what if he got it all wrong? what if he was just assuming things just because her actions differ from her words?

"dazai, if you recall back then, it's to never fall for-"

"strippers or anyone involved in some bad or shady business, i know," dazai completes it for him.