I wanted to post this general idea of a post on my personal Facebook, but I have too many people that will disagree with me HARD, so I'm posting it here because honestly, I feel like I care more than most people do about others.
So before all the COVID-19 stuff started happening quickly, during the first week of March, I'd had enough of my job. I cried for 45 minutes after my shift ended, upstairs in the breakroom, called my fiance and my mom told them I was thinking of quitting because I'd had enough of my managers and coworkers. They both thought it was a great idea. I was a bit of a bitch but not as much as I could've been. I went downstairs, handed my boss my stuff, thanked her for the opportunity of working there, and walked out.
I've had some bad experiences with not working well with others. I've only had a couple of jobs at this point in my life. I get good at aspects of my jobs quickly and then the upper management offers me more advanced positions but I take it too quickly and don't improve my work so it ends badly.
But now, I'm seeing a lot of conflicting opinions from my friends on Facebook on other people's lives. One that sparked my idea for this rant was talking about "If you liked the stimulus check, imagine how you'd feel with a job" kind of post. That hit me hard personally. We are in an instance where I got so stressed with my job that I wanted to take some serious time away from a job to work on my passion projects, writing music, gaming, and trying to get my house back in order because I'll be real here, I've been depressed for a long time. My fiance was fine with it. He's seen me go through a lot with my bosses and he's tired of me putting too much into jobs that I'm not feeling good about. It's sad to feel bad about other people losing their opportunities when I feel like I'm not worried too much about myself.
I can't help but get shitty when my friends that have jobs bitch about people not having them now and getting happy about an advance on their taxes. I quit before all these places started closing, and because I quit and was not fired, I don't qualify for unemployment. I'm fine with that, I've always been fine with that. I don't need the extra money right now. We're blessed that my fiance's job allows him to keep us afloat.
If I had stressed myself out for another couple of weeks and had a few more breakdowns and got extra scared dealing with customers, cleaning extra, etc, you're saying I would've been qualified? Yeah, no thanks. I didn't need that. I've got enough people in my family that have their own medical issues that I would've felt like shit having to go to work in a non-essential place (my former job has now closed because it was a clothing-based retail store) but doing extra. I was about to be fired if I wasn't going to improve anyways (written up, asked to step down from my management position and go to part-time, and told I should've already been fired the day I quit). I was on track to not be there much longer, so why not take my mental health and not be subjected to any more anger and personal issues.
I've said a lot about the loss of my job already in discussions with my friends and family, so I'm just restating a lot of what I have already.
There are way too many reasons that people can't get a job sometimes. Life is shitty sometimes and people handle different situations in an array of ways. Disabilities, medical issues, mental illness, family loss, crime, having kids, and other things can cause people to lose and not be able to keep jobs. I'm tired of people getting mad at others for shit basically no one can control.
I don't know how I can help, but I know I want to. I don't have the ability to right now, but part of me wanting to work on my stuff is writing music and being able to share with others that I understand and care.
I wish people understood this.
