Save You

Chapter 28 : Monster

'Bakugou! Wait up man!' Kirishima yells, running after the blonde.

Today has just been a disaster, everything he had built with Bakugou has crumbled. Nothing could describe how angry he felt. Of course, he understood that Midoriya was unaware of the current situation so he didn't show and blame towards him.

Todoroki's reasoning was clear too. Yes, he did go overboard but he knew it was because he was worried about Midoriya. Kirishima would do the same if it was Bakugou in that position.

Finally Kirishima reached Bakugou's door and knocked on it. At first there was no reply so he began knocking louder. 'Bakugou! Open the door or I will destroy it!' Kirishima threatens.

He hears a mumble and the click of a door lock before he barges into the room. His heart was beating so fast - Kirishima honestly thought he'd be met with the same scene as last time.

However, Kirishima is grateful to find Bakugou perched on his bed, looking out onto the balcony. But, Bakugou was refusing to make eye contact with him.

With a sigh, Kirishima walks over to join Bakugou.

The two sit there in silence; the only sound being their quiet breathing. But the silence was unnerving, both could feel the other's uncomfortableness. They knew the situation needed to be addressed but neither knew where to start.

Too much had happened.

The sun shines in Bakugou's balcony door and rests softly on the bed - warming up the dark black comforter. Bakugou's red orbs are glowing gorgeously in the golden rays, his face brightening in all the right places.

Kirishima slowly looks up at Bakugou, knowing he needed to say something. They couldn't leave this unattended - Kirishima learnt that the hard way. He made a promise that day, that he'd properly care for his broken friend - he wasn't ready to break that promise yet.

'I told him to kill himself.'

Bakugou's voice is soft - and for once, not holding an immense hatred. The built up regret is viable in his tone - he'd been holding this in for so long.

'When we were in middle school, I told him to jump. I...I didn't think he'd actually listen.'

Kirishima stiffens at that last statement. Bakugou was focused on the crumpled comforter - his fingers unconsciously gripping the soft fabric tightly. The memory was painful, it was something he'd regret for the rest of his life.

'I found him that afternoon, almost about to climb the railing.' Bakugou's voice is weak and shaky, it could almost be mistaken for him crying. But, he'd been drained of his tears a long time ago, he didn't have anything left in him - he was just a hollow body with no soul.

'Of course I ripped him away from the edge. I mean, the fucker was delusional to even consider my stupid advice. But...But, I didn't know how to comfort him. All I could do was scream.'

Kirishima listened as the blonde spilled the stored hurt in his heart. He knew better then to interrupt, then to insert his opinion or comfort. The movement he made a comment he knew Bakugou would clamp up. Sharing his emotions didn't come easily to Bakugou, this was definitely progress.

'I left him there on the rooftop. Well, at least that's what he probably thinks. I stayed back at school for another two hours - hiding in the shadows on the rooftop just to make sure he didn't try anything again. I even followed that damn nerd home because I was so paranoid.' Bakugou stops, takes a deep shaky breath and recollects his thoughts. His emotions were becoming too strong now, he could barely hold back.

'I was worse then any villain that day. But, I was always a monster for even pushing him that far.' Bakugou's breathing becomes more shallow. 'I'm still a monster, I'll always be a monster. I don't know how to escape.'

For the first time that afternoon, Bakugou's eyes finally met Kirishima's. They were a blood red and glassy with tears that refused to spill. Kirishima could instantly memorise every emotion that was spilling from Bakugou's orbs. He just knew.

'You're not a monster you know?' Kirishima starts, voice soft and comforting. Bakugou's eyes widen and he instantly leaps to argue but Kirishima cuts him off. 'The real monster is the one in your head. The one that's making you carry this guilt.'

Bakugou goes silent, trying to comprehend Kirishima's words. It didn't make sense to him - it was almost as thought Kirishima was implying that he was insane.

'Weak. You're not manly. You'll never be good enough. You're a disappointment.' Bakugou looks up at Kirishima, confused at his sudden choice in words. 'I think these words every day and I have for the longest of times. But those insults, they aren't me. It's the monster in my head, my insecurities.'

Kirishima shuffles slightly closer to Bakugou and forces Bakugou to focus solely on his eyes. 'The words in your head don't define you. You're actions do. You messed up - but everyone does. What matter is how you change from that mistake and how you make up for it.'

Bakugou still remains silent, his mind ticking over all of Kirishima's words. He honestly can't believe that excitable and kind red head in front of him has negative thoughts of his own. He thought it was just him, that he solely was carrying the burden of insecurities. He never thought to look around and see everyone else's struggles because he just thought they were perfect.

'Tell me, have you ever told Midoriya to kill himself since?'

Bakugou falls silent, his mind thinking over the long period of time since then. 'No. But I-'

'Exactly. You've learnt from that. Sure, you've still been a little cruel towards him but you've definitely became less abusive. I think that there's just so many unspoken feelings between you two that have been misunderstood. That's why there's constant conflict between you both - you've both forgotten how to interact after all this time.'

The more Kirishima talked, the more everything became clear to Bakugou. These thoughts he had didn't defy him. His actions towards Midoriya were unresolved emotions that burdened him.

Everything could be solved, everything could be okay. They could resolves this misunderstanding between two childhood friends at last. But, one issue still stood in the way.

The other, had forgotten.