SIR,

CHAPTER 1: Bed-time Lewdness

 He was tired that night. He had listened to many complains of his people. "I prayed to God for concubines, but they are nowhere to be seen, my king"

"my lord, the tax on crops is too high"
"I can't find my cat, her name is pussy. Would one of your knights be kind to help"
all that bullocks gave him a headache, other 17 year olds do not have such problems.

   He went to his bedroom seeking refuge from life's heavy responsibilities. The kings book shelf always provided an escape from reality.

   "Alphonse" he called. "Alphonse" he then yelled.
"here sir" a very poised voice came from behind the door to the kings' bedroom.
"come in Alphonse"
Alphonse, the servant, entered. While the king wore the clothes of slumber, Alphonse was still in dull black and gray of service.
"how im so tiered from these areses Alphonse, I can't even entertain myself with this book. Could you read to me"
"but of course, sir. Let's see. Hmmm. "A song of lust and desire: A game of tits", I wonder what it's about"

   Alphonse began reading. "embrace me some more dear"
"I am not your dear, you little bitch. Now show me them breasts some more" Alphonse seemed shocked that a king would read such things. "pardon me sir, don't you think it's a little explicit"
"no, why?. Pfff continue reading Alphonse"

"damn you" whispered Alphonse
"what did u say?" the king raised an eyebrow.
"I said "damn you" sir" Alphonse made his voice clearer than the first time.
"how dare you, I am your king. You are fired. Shew, get out"
"but sir, if you make if I leave the castle, people would think you made me redundant" exclaimed the servant.
"what? Of course they would think that. That’s what I'm doing"
but sir" he raised his chin "then the people would think you cruel and leave this kingdom fearing your wrath"
"get out of . . . you know, you're right. Very well then, I'm still making you redundant but you will stay in the castle and become my private reader. And since you're already here; just keep on doing your daily duties as servant"
"most kind and wise, sir" said the servant without the slightest change in his expression.
"now carry on private reader, read to me"
"are you sure you want me to read you middle ages pornography?" he slightly raised an eyebrow.
"yes" replied the king.
"damn you" muttered Alphonse.
"what did you say?" the king asked. Ready to snap if he heard what he thinks it is.
"I said "damn you" sir"