Misunderstood Miracles

At First

Her story had begun at sixteen. Back then, she had been so convinced her life was falling apart. This was an exaggeration. The divorce had been over for two years by then; her biggest concerns were friend battles and minor insecurities. Sophomore year, out of the blue, Kennan had introduced himself to her at a soccer game. Neither of them played soccer; neither of them understood the sport. Both had come for mutual friends.

She still wasn’t sure what had prompted him. And to this day, he wouldn’t tell her. It had been an awkward meeting. She hadn’t liked him, at first – he was too blunt, telling her she was beautiful and giving her the sort of smile she imagined he had given to a hundred other girls. But during halftime – hand brushing his, a juvenile attraction running through her veins – she had given her prejudice over.

He had beautiful eyes: ocean blue. A way of saying her name in a half-whisper. He had carried a defiant confidence with him that matched up with hers. For a moment, huddled on the bleachers beneath the glare of the spotlights, Mairi had imagined they were outcasts, rebels; a 21st century Bonnie and Clyde preparing to evade reality.

In the months before, he was kind. Far too kind than she imagined she deserved. But still, cloud nine had carried her to the end of high school. It had evaporated with her college plans when he wheedled her into dropping out of high school, moving into an apartment, and falling in – and out – of love with him.

Mairi had hated living with no money. She hated the way he forgot to tell her that she was beautiful, and she hated that he had taken her from her parents, who had centered her, as an only child, as the sole recipient of their attention.

But hadn’t it been her choice? Hadn’t she wanted that, in the very depths of her heart? To matter to someone else. To be worshipped, revered, and adored for who she was and who she presented herself to be.

In this end, this present day, Kennan had been her blessing and her curse: he had granted her dreams, and he had seen the wandering, insecure, unlovable nature of her soul.