Get ready to reality

Warning sexual things (8) (loosing virginity)

As you see on the chapters name, it will be about me loosing my virginity with the guy that I call my boyfriend...
Did I think it would hurt? Yes.
Did it hurt? Yes, 1000 times more then I thought.
Was I wet enough? Probably not.
The thing is it hurted rlly bad and I didn't get anything out from it, I did tell my boyfriend that and his respond was " you need to relax more" that didn't help either. I did search on it and there is some things that probably fits into this which I rlly don't want to have. It's the same thing when he just puts a finger inside of me it hurts like hell. But the dumb as bitch I am I just go with it. Which you really shouldn't, vaginism is something you should care about it hurts rlly bad and there is things you need to do. Which I don't wanna do.
And for you who is about loosing there virginity don't worry it probably will go well for you guys I just tend to have bad luck in my life. Another thing if I do it to myself it doesn't hurt at all?? Which I find even more confusing about. I rlly need to see a doctor.

I'm also afraid that I'm pregnant now cuz he refuse to buy a condom, I have bought a condom but he destroyed that one... So there is no protection which is rlly bad and I'm afraid I'm pregnant.... I rlly do hate my life.

I have went down on my boyfriend as well which makes me gag a lot which I find kinda eww. People say it doesn't taste that bad they have right about that it taste worse, so prepare yourself for that guys.

I don't think he brush his teeth either, like he never rlly go to the bathroom it's only me that goes to the bathroom, like I don't understand....

And if you sit in qurentinr like nearly the rest of the world have fun with that, I do that to well half time we don't have it as strict here but yh kinda boring tho. But I hope you guys are healthy and good and don't get the coronavirus.