I am a cow. My life is an awesome life, I prance around and eat the grass. My family is always right beside me. But they stink, literally they smell a lot. It is disgusting. Why dont cows take baths? No one smells nice, not even me.
The days that I am happy are the days when the strange alien throws food at us. My friends call it hay but I would rather call it toaster. Sometimes the strange alien violates me though. He puts his could dead hands on my utters, and nobody tries to stop him.
These days are starting to get worse and worse. It is starting to get colder and colder and tiny white floaty things are falling from the sky. Is the Cow God doing this? I am not sure but I should sleep because I am bored.
I am scared. My friend tried to escape but the brown barrier, what the alien calls a "fence" stopped him. My friend ended up getting violated, it made me sad.
I am scared again. The aliens are opening boxes and they have a green spaceship in their layer. My friends call it christmas and their layer is called a house but i always disagree with them because i am smarterer. One of the tiny aliens got a flying thing. It makes a lot of noise and it scares me. Apparently it's called a plane but it looks more like it should be called "suitcase" instead of plane. I was starting to trust it but then it hit me. Ow ow ow ow moo. The tiny alien ended up getting punished. This world is a weird world. Time for sleep.
I am scared. The Cow God is mad at me. He throws giant light bulbs at the ground (I know what a light bulb is cause i have them all the time). He is throwing them at the ground. Probably because they are overpriced. I took blame for making the overpriced light bulbs so overpriced but it didn't stop for days then it wad gone. I am happy. I shall sleep.
I think a famous alien drove by our house in a black long car. A bunch of girls were yelling "We love you Justin Bieber!". My friends say they have Bieber Fever. I think its a virus that targets young girls and old men. I would rather like it more if they had mad cow disease so they would love me instead. My friends say that's not how it works so I ate all the toaster cause I am a crazy cow! I will go back to sleep.
That is the end of my talk life thing. I will stay in touch, unless you have cold dead hands then no stay away.
