Everything I left behind

Chapter 4 -

Getting out of bed this morning was a real tough one, somehow I got myself into such a deep sleep waking up felt like pure murder. Although, I think if I didn't get my ass up anytime soon my dad was going to break my door down.

Pulling myself onto my feet I dragged myself into my bathroom and groaned when I looked back in the mirror. My skin had broken out and my hair looked exactly like I had just stuck my hand in a plug socket.

After pulling myself together and applying the little amount of make up I owned to cover the blemishes I pulled on a skirt and tucked in a top with a cardigan to go with.

"You just missed your dad he was in a hurry this morning" mum told me as I made my way into the kitchen. Nodding, I took out some lunch and chucked it into my bag before leaving myself. The college's pasta wasn't the best yesterday so I decided on a homemade cheese and tomato sandwich would settle better.

As I looked down the street I noticed Mason's car gone which suggested he had already left for college. Also implying I was most likely going to be late considering I still had a ten minute journey. Plugging my headphones in, I walked as fast as I could towards college.

"Girl you literally just made it!" Riley whisper shouted at me as I took my seat next to her in sociology. Rolling my eyes and ignoring the death glare my teacher was giving me, I pulled out my textbooks and started revising the page that had been set.

"Woke up late" I admitted to Riley, she laughed as she too made a start on her notes.

Sociology went by rather quickly, our teacher was throwing an exam at us for in a few weeks time to test our "pre-existing" knowledge. Sociology wasn't exactly my strongest point so I knew I needed to dedicate some time to this.

As I left sociology, Riley left me to go to her dance practice. I had a break now until lunch time and Ethan was in a lesson so I was at a loss end. My idea was to head to the courtyard to get some studying done until I spotted Mason heading towards the exit of the college.

Without even thinking my feet took me to him, jogging to catch up with him. He didn't realise I was behind him till I made it apparent by standing in front of him stopping him from going any further.

His eyes slightly widened at my actions before a scowl returned to his face and he crossed his arms over his broad chest as he faced me.

"What do you want Avery" he muttered with annoyance laced in his tone. Pushing the hurt to the back of my stomach I stood up tall. He wasn't going to treat me like this, we had to sort this out before it just kept spiralling downwards. We live on the same street for christ sake, he had to face me at some point.

"Is that it? You haven't seen me for three years and this is how you react?" I questioned, my eyes scanning over his face searching for any kind of emotion but there was just nothing. He was completely blank, he was unrecognisable.

"What do you want me to say? Welcome home?" He sneered, kicking at the small rocks on the ground between us. Frowning at him he just rolled his eyes.

"Avery you left us, Danielle died and you didn't even come back for her funeral. How am I suppose to even know if you was a real friend? Then you waltz back here and expect me to greet you with open arms when I didn't even know you was coming back!" He snapped.

His words hit harder than I was expecting, I mean I knew that he would be angry about the funeral situation and that was a given. However, I just hadn't prepared myself to actually hear it from himself and know what to say next.

I stayed quiet, staring at the ground. What was I suppose to say him? Maybe confronting him was a whole new level of stupidity and I was starting to regret it for my own selfish reasons.

"Well are you not going to explain yourself?" He questioned whilst his eyes burned deep holes into my head.

Panic was rising so quick inside me I felt like it was only going to be a matter of minutes before I either fainted or threw up all over the guy. I had no words, I knew what I wanted to tell him - the bloody truth! It was impossible though, I couldn't, it was cause to much fear and upset and not just on me.

"M-Mason I can't" I sighed, pulling all the strength in me to not break down in floods of tears on him. He scoffed before he shrugged past me towards his car leaving me in silence on my own.

I wasn't going to run after him and protest, because simply there was no point. He really did hate me and so much anger was bubbling up inside him because of me. That thought was unbearable. He had this anger for me for such a long time, no wonder why he's reacting the way he is to me coming home.

As he drove out the car park I couldn't help but let the tears run down my face.

This hadn't gone at all how I had hoped.

*
I considered not going back into college after the encounter with Mason but I knew I had too. If I didn't, I'd have to face mum and dad later tonight on why they received emails about me skipping on my second day. The teachers knew I was in because they'd seen me and I had attending previous lessons, it wasn't a risk worth taking just yet.

Riley and Ethan could tell something was wrong but when I told them I couldn't bear to even start talking about it - they understood. Besides, they seem to have their minds made up on Mason the same way he has on me.

After my final lesson I collected in my work before heading straight home. It was no surprise to me that I was the only one home when I got in, mum started back at her cafe today and dad was a workaholic when it comes to his farm.

I collapsed down onto the couch and held my head in my hands as I scrapped my mind with something I could tell Mason. The problem was, I didn't even want to lie to him - talking to someone about my uncle other than my parents would be helpful to me too. I had lied to him once, I couldn't lie to him again. He'd never forgive me, that's if he ever does anyway.

My uncle was a big part of my life, during the period he wasn't drug dealing. Sometimes I felt he was more of a brother than an uncle so loosing him the way I did was incredibly painful. We hardly had time to grieve either because everything was so fast paced and tough.

After loosing more tears and frustration I finally picked myself up and decided to go on a walk. Mum had left me a note on the side to put my pizza in the oven before she got home. Was that likely to happen? Nope.

Sticking my Earphones in I left the house and started walking. I had no idea where I was going, I let my feet take me wherever.

It wasn't until I reached the end of a park I realised exactly where I was, my heart sunk as I stared at all the graves just behind the entrance gate. Pushing myself to go inside, I walked along until I reached the very back where I found Danielles. Her mum had briefly explained to me where it was located so I was able to hunt it down fairly quickly.

My legs collapsed beneath me as I sat on the cold grass staring at the grave. It was so surreal, this was my best friend now.

"Danielle I'm so sorry" I cried out, tears streaming down my cheeks.

I spoke to her as though she'd talk back, as if her human form was sat in front of me listening to me rant and cry about Mason and not being here for her. As hard as it was, it was reassuring and I felt better knowing that I had found her once again.