Learning to Trust (On Hold)

Chapter One: Dream or Reality?

Chantel quickly hurried to the front door to leave for school, putting her hand on the door knob her father called her in a husky tone. Dread filled her, if at all possible she tried her best to avoid her father, if he wanted to talk to her it wasn’t for a good reason. Slowly walking back down the hall she stood tall, her father didn’t like it when she slouched, he always said good posture meant everything, that you must never show anyone anything less. Nothing accompanied the dark hallway except for the throw rug on the hard wood flooring, the walls stood lonely with nothing hanging on them. Stopping at her parent’s room she didn’t dare pass the threshold. Slowly looking up from the floor she observed the room, her father stood fixing his tie in the full size mirror. She hated when he called her, she never knew what he would say to her.

“Don’t mess this up” He said keeping his eyes on his tie. “We aren’t going to transfer you again; this is your only chance.” Her heart sank to her feet at her father’s words; did he really think it was her fault? How could he be so insensitive? Was she really a failure? Before taking her leave she made sure her father was done with her, if she left before he told her so, she would be in a world of trouble. Waving his hand in the air to dismiss her, she quickly left for school. Walking down the sidewalk Chantel kept her head down, she had caused so much trouble, her father was right, everything was her fault, Chantel wanted to hold her head high and walk to school with confidents but couldn’t find any. The least she could do was stay out of trouble at her new school and not create any more problems, all she needed to do is stay away from everyone and nobody would bother her right?   

Chantel gazed out at the trees that stood tall in the school yard, as she watched the birds flying in the sky, she couldn’t help but wish she could be as free as they were, to have no one telling them how worthless they were, nobody telling them they were such a problem, nobody could ever tell them they were not loved. Will there ever be a day when I’ll have just a tenth of their freedom? She wondered…

“Chantel?” The teacher asked with a puzzled face crossing her arms, lifting up the book on her desk she asked. “Have you been listening at all?” The entire classes eyes landed on her except for the boy sitting next to her, she was grateful for that, not having someone right in her face staring at her made her thankful, shifting in her seat uncomfortably she couldn’t help but stutter.

“Y-Yes”

“Keep your eyes on me and not outside, okay?” The teacher said in an antagonistic voice. Quickly Chantel nodded putting her hands on her lap. Throughout the lesson Chantel could hear quite giggles from behind, making her uncomfortable she wanted to just get up and run from it all, but that was not an option. Trying to ignore all of their quite whispers and giggles Chantel tried her best to pay attention to the teacher. My first day and I’m already a laughing stock, but I should be used to that by now, right? as she thought that to herself, she felt as if someone had just laid a heavy weight upon her shoulders, it was a dreadful yet very familiar feeling she had always endured, though she wasn’t entirely sure what the weight was from.

“Class is dismissed!” The teacher announced loudly to the students. Once those three words were spoken, the room began lively as though waking from a great sleep; everyone started getting up from their seats scratching the floor with the bottom of their chairs, voices began filling the open space between. Chantel could hear people talking about her, ignoring their words she grabbed her books and put them into her backpack.

“Who is that Girl?” a student asked from her side. Looking at Chantel from head to toe her friend scoffed.

“She’s new here” The girl spat out the words like they were poison. “I think someone said her name was Chantel” She said the last couple words as though they were a disease. They both laughed as they looked at her.