~SleepWalking~

Part 5.

  When the lunch bell rang, all I was thinking at the moment was to GET OUT of here. It felt as if I was suffocating the entire time. Instead of Oli's usual stare, I had Niall, and Oli glancing back and forth between me as if I was something really interesting. HA, yeah right. As I was walking out, I heard Brea calling my name. "ZOEI!, ZOE WAIT UP!" rolling my eyes, I turned around annoyed. "WHAT?" I snapped. She honestly looked hurt from my remark, and I almost felt a little regretful for snapping at her, almost. She knew how easily frustrated I could get. "I was wondering why haven't you replied to any of my calls and texts, also why have you been ignoring me?"

  Here we go again, I thought. Why does she always have to ask so many questions when she knows the reason behind why I act like such a bitch all the time. I don't try too, nor do I want to really, I just feel like everyone and everything is out to get me to make my life a living hell, and my defense mechanism is to push everyone away. Everyone except Oli. Oli has always found his way back in ever since he found out my plan in middle school when I didn't let anyone near me , and would always find excuses to not talk to him. He would always be by my side, through the yelling, the silent treatment , and every other horrible thing that I would throw at him. Now it was my turn to return the favor because of the way he is starting to slowly but surely push me out of his life by the little things , and it hurts like HELL. My eyes automatically started to tear up. Oli. "Zoe, you okay?" Brea gently reached out to touch my arm, and I flinched at the contact. DON'T touch me I thought horrified, it wasn't right, I don't fücking need anyone. "Yeah, I gotta go." Snatching my hand away, I headed towards my car. Fuck school, I'm going home.

  I started heading down the hallway, and as soon as I was about to turn the corners for the doors , someone called my name. Again. Fücking hell! What does everyone want with me? "Hey Zoei, I saw you heading out, and I wanted to know if you wanted to come get luch with me maybe?" Niall, it was Niall. I can tolerate him , I thought after all he did save me from eating a face full of tile. I looked into his baby blues, and although I was pissed at the world right now, I couldn't find it in my somewhat cold heart to say no to the blonde boy. Sighing deeply, I replied with " Sure Niall, where would you like to go?" I could have sworn I saw his eyes light up just a little bit more at the mention of me saying yes to him. "Umm okay umm, there's this new pizza place I've heard of called Peter Pipers Pizza, wanna try?" Ughh Pizza. The classic I thought once again, im starting to fall in love with my beautiful mind. "Is that alright with you Zoei? Snapping back into reality, I responded with,"Yes! Of course! We're taking your car I suppose?" He smiled that million dollar smile , and started to walk towards the doors. "Yeah, we are, after you my lady." Chuckling I politely thanked him and followed him to his mystery vehicle.

  My hairs started to prick up on my neck as the blood in my veins froze. That feeling came again, that feeling I would always get when he was near. My heart started to beat a million miles per hour with adoration, Oli, I thought knowingly. "Hazel , where are you going?" That's it my heart completely stopped. Hazel, he called me Hazel, he knows that its my soft spot for him, how dare he? I looked up to see confusion spread all across Niall's face at the mention of my nickname for Oli. "Its a childhood nickname." I said reassuringly so he wouldn't think I'm some lying psychotic bïtch. Turning around fully, I saw Oli. He was wearing tan chinos rolled up at the ankles , a black tank, and his usual black vans, His hair was casually stuffed inside his gray beanie, and my heart couldn't have melted more from the sight. No, nows not the time to be ogling over my crush, or as I should say my lover. "As you can see, Niall and I were on our way to lunch , before you rudely interrupted us." My blood was boiling, and my sandy red hair kept blowing in my face annoyingly to the point where I wanted to cut this shït off and walk around like Britney Spears for the rest of my life. How dare he have the audacity to come up to me and call me by my nickname knowing that it is a soft spot for me, and think he can talk to me?"Well I need to talk to you, and its urgent." As he was speaking, I could see the fear in his eyes from me saying no. SHÏT! Why is it always me? I looked between Niall and Oli, and I knew who my choice would be, Oli. Smiling apologetically , I looked at Niall. "I'm sorry, I need to take this, best friend since diapers over there, it'll only be a second." Niall looked annoyed, but by all means smiled knowingly . "Sure, I'll go warm up the car ." As Niall walked away, I angrily walked past Oli, bumping his shoulder roughly , stomping up the stairs. I mean who was he to ruin my lunch with adorable Niall?

  As we got inside, Oli grabbed my wrist and pulled me into a janitors closet. Rolling my hazel eyes, I thought to myself, wow, how cliche. A janitors closet , but if I got in trouble for this shït, Oli's ass was DEFINITELY grass. "So you took me away from my date, and drug me in a fücking JANITORS closet, what's your deal? He looked hurt at the mention of date, but I could give two fucks because of when he kissed me and told me not to touch him right after. Last fücking night! "Look Zoei, I'm sorry for the way Ive been acting , I'm just confused about a lot of things , and I'm scared that I might actually scare you off with these things." Oli took my hands in his, and squeezed them, like he would do Evey other time we talked. My heart genuinely ached for him and myself as I seen our auroa deteriorate into pieces. Angry, all I could be was angry. Why, WHY is it so hard for him to let me in, to help him? My subconscious chuckled at me . oh the irony. Squeezing his hands back, I stared into his emerald orbs. "Oliver please, I can help you, I can save you, please if you just let me in."  Oli shook his head, eyes void of all emotion. "Hazel...I cant." His voice was a puff of useless air. My bitchy demeanor failed me as I started to angrily sob. "So you basically just brought me in here for NOTHING, TO TELL ME THE SAME SHIT YOU DID LAST NIGHT !!! THE SAME I CAN'T TELL YOU BULLSHIT? FOR WHAT OLIVER? FOR FUCKING WHAT? " by the end of my rant, I could barely breathe . I knew that my face was red with anger, puffy splotchy, with tear streaks all over my face. I'm pretty sure my fücking nose is running also.Oli was truley horrified, he knows how I get when I get worked up, and yet he still manages to do this bullshit. "Zoei please, its hard for me right now, I'm trying to get this band started and everything, and I'm just stressing a lot." He looked like he was serious , a band, are you fucking kidding me, that's why he's treating me like shit because of a BAND? I'm SO done.  "Oliver, I'm so done with you right now, SO done." Shaking his wrists off of me, I quickly opened the door and stepped out, but I didn't get far as I was pushed up against the door, and Oli's lips landed on mine. My heart automatically started to beat faster as I locked my arms around his neck, and my fingers played with his unruly baby hairs under his beanie. His arms slid down to my waist , and he pressed his body against mine. My thoughts on everything was completely disoriented as the kiss got sloppier, our lips moved passionately and hungrily against one another's as if we were both afraid of losing each other after this. As soon as Oli bite my lip for entrance, reality came crashing down like a two ton bulldozer resting on my chest, and immediately pushed away from him. Our breathing was laboured,and at the same moment, our eyes met. I'm pretty sure mine shone affection, while Oli's held the same from last night . regret. My stomach dropped so low to the point I was sure it fell out of my ass. "This is what I'm afraid of" shaking his head, he turned to walk away, but I grabbed him again.  Deja vu I thought, but shook it off. " What, what are you afraid of Oli?" He looked me in the eyes again. "This, us, it can't happen, it'll ruin you, I'll ruin you, it can't!" The floor was flooding in my tears now, I was sure of it. Now I knew that what Oli felt towards me was real. "Oliver please, I love you to, its okay, you don't have to be alone, we are in this together, and you're only ruining me, by pushing me away."  Oli gave me a feathery kiss on the cheek . "I'm sorry Hazel, but I can't." He looked at me one more time before disappearing down the hall.

  I stood there an extra  5 minutes actually pondering on what just happened. Oli and I kissed, he told me he felt the same way I did, which meant he knew how I felt all along. My heart hurt, it was like I was drowning trying to save Oli from himself,  clawing my way to the surface, with him hanging onto my leg , pulling me back down. That was his biggest down fall, himself, he was his worst enemy, and  I had to save him from himself risking my own self to stay a float. As I looked up, I realized that somehow I found Niall's car. Opening the door, I sat down.Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Niall look at me with worry etched all over his porcelien face. "You okay Zoei?" No, no I'll never EVER be the same again after what just happend  between me and my "bestfriend"  I thought as I faked a smile and buckled my seatbelt "I'm fine, just had a mere falling out, let's go eat, I'm starved  yeah?" Niall smiled that million dollar smile, and took off.

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Much Love -Chloe ❤❤❤