Catching Stars

Faces from my Past

The world is filled with people. People who are going through real shit. It's not even remotely easy. So why would you think they'd care about your feelings? Your anxiety? Your depression? Why would it matter?

Entry 1: I'm not going to talk about those low moments. The ones that I'm ashamed of. The ones that sneak up on me in the middle of the night and painfully claw at my insides. I can't recall when it started, but I remember using art as an escape. I promised myself I wasn't going to be one of those people who spoke to a therapist so they could give them advice on the shit they're going through. Sometimes life didn't feel like living, and that's okay once you don't fall into the rabbit hole. This time, I was drowning, and quite frankly, I didn't know if I could save myself. I knew what I did with him wasn't right, but I couldn't help myself. It was too good."

"Madi, Madi! Madison, wake up now!" Katie yelled, and Madison groaned in annoyance.

"Well, someone is in a bad mood." Nathaniel, Katie's boyfriend chuckled as she stepped into the kitchen.

"I made breakfast, so I called you because I didn't want it to get cold, "She placed a plate in front of her, but Madi just stared at it.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Katie asked.

"Matthew broke up with me."

"In my perspective, he was always immature."

"Oh wow, thank you so much for making me feel better," Madi muttered sarcastically.

"She's right. Guys don't want anything serious at your age." Nathaniel said as he sipped a can of coke.

"You guys are seriously not helping at this point." Madi rolled her eyes.

"I'm sorry, it's just that sometimes boys break your heart because they don't know what they want. I'm sure that there is someone out there who will love you unconditionally. Every moment you spend pondering about it is practically senseless. You have to know that you are worth much more than this. Try not to think about Matthew. I'm gonna shower and get dressed." Katie gave words of encouragement as she went into her room.

"Chin up, Mads. It's gonna be okay." Nathaniel winked, and Madi scoffed.

Madi tried to eat some of the food even though she wasn't hungry. She couldn't let the food go to waste.

She got up to place her plate in the kitchen when she felt a pair of arms around her.

Her breath hitched, and she froze on the spot.

"It's been a while, hasn't it?" Nathaniel's breath fanned over her neck.

"Nathaniel, stop, we can't do this anymore." She whispered.

"But you miss my touch, don't you?" He kissed her neck.

"I told you we can't do this anymore. It's wrong." She hissed and he hummed in response.

His grip on her tightened, and he took a deep breath.

Suddenly, he pulled away from her, and Katie emerged from the room dressed for work.

"You're leaving already?" Madi questioned. Her heart was beating loudly against her chest.

"I'm coming home earlier, so maybe we can go catch a movie or something?" She suggested.

"Sure."

"Please don't mope around all day. It isn't healthy." Katie warned.

"I have a shift in two hours, so I won't be moping around."