The Light You Give

1.

I let the wave lift my battered board, like a mother to a newborn baby, caressing and calm. The barren ocean; naked of its usual litter of surfers. A sense of peacefulness clothing the bay. Soft sounds of crashing waves ease my heavy mind. The early morning sun peeking over the soft horizon, taunting me. Telling me a new day has started. A new day I have to endure. A new day I have to put on my smile.

I push off my board, diving down, down into the murky depths of the ocean.

Being under the water is so peaceful. How the deep blue stretches for miles and miles, home to thousands of undiscovered wildlife, unfortunately, littered with the evidence of humans destructive existence.

The water itself is cool, covering every inch of your body as if encasing you in a comfortable shell, silky to the touch. Water makes everything seem so much lighter. Being submerged in the salty abyss, where the water urges you up. Up to the surface. Up to finally relieve your lungs with the bay's salty oxygen.

The ocean brings a sense of life, it brings one hope. Even if only for a short period of time.

As I fold my arms across the dented nose of my board, resting my forehead against them, I let out a deep sigh. I wanted to stay here forever. I didn't want to face it all. My mom. My family. School. Everything.

Sometimes I feel completely ready to combust. I ache for things society turns its nose up at. I ache for being free of my mind. One where I never have to return to reality. Not some bender that eventually I'll get pulled from. But an actual escape. A forever escape.

***

"So what do you think Lacey?" Beatrice asks me elatedly. Her blonde hair bouncing in her soft curls. Her electric blue eyes searching my expression as we make our way into the school cafe. She was planning out her outfit to a party that some girl, Elise Walter, was holding at her parent's house while they were out of town.

"The yellow dress for sure," I say with a direct nod of my head. Sliding a salad onto my worn tray, as well as a crisp apple and a bottle of water. The options had been narrowed down between a stunning yellow bodycon dress, which was Bea's signature colour, and a midnight blue bodysuit and white skirt combo.

"Yep," Bea says her lips tugging into a small grin. While she reaches for a steaming carton of mac and cheese. "Luke's favourite colour is yellow." She mutters to herself with a small grin. Bea has been attempting to impress Luke ever since she met him.

"Are we not going to talk about the sexual tension between you two?" I ask her, nudging her slightly. Egging her on, being the good friend that I am.

"Between who?" Seth, Bea's slightly older brother. By five minutes. 'The most peaceful five minutes of my life.' as Seth likes to put it.

Seth was your average teenage boy. Your average dirtbag. Your average high school playboy. Whatever you wanted to call him. I personally enjoyed calling him an asshole. 

"You are so nosy, must be why your nose is so big." I reply, my eyes rolling into the back of my head. The banter between us was not unusual, it tended to ease out the strong dislike we shared for each other. We took a seat at our lunch table.

"Hey Baby!" Mia exclaims, in that condescending voice that our table has grown acquainted with over the past couple of weeks, as she perches herself on Seth's lap.

Mia Olivine Richards. The class A bitch of this story. Her looks struggling to make up for her ugly personality. 

Vomit.

Thank you Seth for gracing us with yet another extremely fake girl we have to endure until you get bored.

"Hi." He says; his voice monotonous, a hint of annoyance behind it. Their lips crush together and I look away.