Hidan x Reader

A losing battle

"haha you'll never catch me you bastards!!" you shout, weaving in and out of the trees.
"forget the mission! when i catch you, i'll make you a sacrifice!" the grey haired man yelled behind you. "kakuzu get on her left!"

you run even faster with each step, you take a glance behind you.
"what?! they're gone" you run head first into a tree because of the distraction. "ow that hurt" you stumble backwards and bump into someone.
"got you now!" the grey haired man grabs the back of your neck with his hands, then holds his scythe to your neck.
"keep struggling and i swear to jashin i'll kill you" who the hell is jashin?

"hold her still, hidan. look little girl you have two choices, become one of hidan's sacrifices to his 'god jashin' or join the akatsuki"
"ha! i'll never join your stupid akatsuki cult" you say, then disappear into the ground below you. they're going to have to try harder to catch me! "where did that dickhead go?" hidan grunts. "over here~" you tease. you quickly throw a paper bomb attached to a kunai knife, headed strait towards the pair.
"a paper bomb? how original!" the grey haired man busted out laughing. the man with the green eyes grabbed the kunai knife and defuses the bomb. well that didn't go as planned.

"that's all you've got? i thought pain said you were a great shinobi, not a loser"
"shut up you green eyed old man" you jump down from the trees.
"earth style jutsu, prison dome!" a rock solid dome folded over the two men. "looks like your stuck"
"ive had enough!" the green eyed man stikes at the rock, breaking the dome with his fist. tentacles arise from his body, reaching out and holding you hostage.
"what the-"
"i'm giving you one last chance again, all you have to say is yes or no"

you look around desperate for escape. the gray haired man looks you in the eyes, holding his scythe and ramming into the ground, "what's it going to be?"
"fine i'll go, just because i don't what to be a sacrifice to his 'jashin god' "
"good lets go" the green eyed man said, letting his grey tendrils free then grabbing and slumping you over his shoulder.
"it will be a long trip back, you carry her at the half way point" said the green eyed man talking to his partner.

"you know if we're going to be comrades, then i should know you're names"
"i thought you would've picked it up by now" smirked the grey haired man,
"you're staring at the hidan the most handsome badass guy there is! and they loser carrying you is kakuzu, the idiot of the waterfall village" he said with his chest out while holding his scythe.
"are you asking for a death wish?" kakuzu yells back.
"id rather say, hidan the most annoying fuck head there is and kakuzu, the old guy with weird eyes" you laugh back. kakuzu grips your collar tighter causing you to choke.

"oh i'll show you what annoying is! just you wait"
"shut up already! you're both annoying" the three of you walk for a bit until coming to a rest.
"here take her, my shoulder is killing me" hidan grabs you, then also puts you over his shoulder as kakuzu did.