Life with kids

Chapter Four

Ahhh  coffee. There is nothing better. Well hot tea with alot of sugar is a close second. Espeacially for mornings like this. Up at four and can't go back to sleep because of the fear of seeing their little sister... but I guess it's gonna be ok. Hopefully.

After I make my cup of coffee with extra extra sugar and creamer. I go and sit on the couch to watch some tv. The only thing on that I bother watching is SpongeBob. Which isn't really a very good choice for a 28 year old but oh well. Fuck  it.

It's the episode where Mr. Krabs trades SpongeBob to plankton and they end up singing a love ballad to each other. Which to be honest is very creepy.

My mother's couches are like an old grandma couch. The one that is a very retro floral design and they pretty much swallow you. But at the same time hard as a rock. Who would have thought that couches are so complicated.

The walls in her house are burgundy and dark grey and there are some blacks and whites thrown here and there. I'm looking around until something catches my eye. A yellow sort of drawing, with beautiful sunflowers and an extremely unporportionate sun. As I'm criticizing the painting I notice 2 small letters at the bottom of the painting. A signature. LS. Lilly Stevens. It's like I can never get away from her. Geez.

"MOMMY!!!" Shit that's Gwen. I jump at the sound and rush to the 2nd living room. I see Gwen crying in Jamie's arms. I freeze for a sceond at the sight then rush over to her side cooing to her that everything will be ok. Jamie releases her and she slides into my lap.

"Jamie go grab her sippy cup and fill it with some water, please."

"yes ma'am." I stroke her rats nest of hair and rock her back and forth. Man these night terrors have got to stop. they are totally destroying her and Jamie. They are getting worse and worse.

Jamie comes back with Gwen's cup and I hand it to her. Jamie sits beside me and starts playing with Gwen's hair. Eventually she falls back asleep and I gentlely set her down beside Jamie and cover both of them up. Whew. "Goodnight guys."

I head back to the main living room. I need more coffee. I walk into the kitchen and start making another cup when a voice startles me. "Is she ok?" I quickly turn around almost dropping my mug.

"Yeah Mom, she has just been having these night terrors lately. I'm pretty sure its just a phase."

"Oh ok. You know you used to get those when you were little. Actually you were about Gwen's age."

I didn't know that. "Really?"

"Well yeah, what I started doing was playing some soft music in your room and it actually worked. Maybe you could try that."

"Yeah I'll try it tomorrow night." I walk over to the bar where she is sitting and sit next to her. "Um, thanks.".

She gives me a  real smile this time, and I give her a real smile back. Man, I miss this.

We sit here for a few minutes. My mom reading a newspaper and me reading the recent book that i saw at Target. Beautiful Disaster. It's very interesting. I bought it two days ago and I'm over half way through with it.

I check my watch to see what time it is. 7:34. I have about an hour or two until I need to get the kids up. I sigh and look beside me to see my mother is no longer there. That's weird. She was just here. I guess i was so into my book I didn't even notice she left. I walk to make another cup of coffee, but decide against it. I'm in more of a tea mood. So i put the kettle on to boil, and go search for my mom.

I guess we never grow out of that. Always wanting to know where our mom is. It's kinda annoying to a mom but as a kid or whatever. It's kinda a mandatory thing, always wanting to know where your mother is.

I check in the living room, not there. I check in her bedroom, not there. I check where the kids are, not in there either. Mmmm, I know where she is. I walk up stairs, past her room, passed the 2nd living room. I go all the way down the hall and stop in front of the door to the person who haunts my dreams.

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"Lilly's Bedroom" The sign posted on the door says.

Ok, just breathe its not that hard. You can do it.

I grab the handle and slowly open the door. The smell of her favorite perfume fills my nose. The sweet smell of jasmine and honey. I look around at the painted room. The beautiful mural my sister painted when she was just eleven looks like something a profetional artist would paint.

It stretches along all four walls. The beautiful sea, with at least 100 different animals. The vibrant colors mezmorising me.

Then the sharp ache in my chest comes back. Just find mom and get out of here.

I walk across the room to the doors that lead to the balcony. I open the doors and my mom jumps making me jump.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you. I was just-"

"It's ok. What's up buttercup." She says wiping a tear from her eye.

"I just was wondering where you went."

"Oh. Well, I'm here." She says while looking out at the sun rising. I walk over to sit by her.

We sit in silence for a few minutes then she speaks.

"I miss her."