Lost And Found

10. Of partings and pains and stupidity.

P.ov. of Sarah.

Back in Mumbai,
I clutched at Riyan's T shirt close to my heart.
Oh my ! The pleasure of first love.

He had come early in the morning to give it to me.
With a puzzled look he asked me,' Why do you need my t-shirt?'
It was the one I had worn when I was at his home.
' Memoir.',I told him .

'Why do you want an old one? I'll buy you a new one.'

I just laughed.
Men will be men.

They really don't see things the way we girls do.

That's what my friend Samara told me.
She's had three boyfriends so I trust her to be knowledgeable and resourceful.

She told me that Riyan and I were not dating actually because none of us has confessed or proffessed our love.

But she definitely felt we were a 'thing'.

Now whatever that meant.

I had been trying to call him for the entire day today but couldn't reach him.
Probably there was an network issue.

There wasn't any need for panic.

My mom came upstairs.
'Sarah we have to leave for Amisha's wedding , day after tomorrow. So you better get packing.'

'Mom, but I just returned this morning. I'm tired.',I complained.

That was torture.

I dragged my feet to my cupboard and tried rummaging through what I had.

After fifteen minutes I gave up.
I couldn't match one thing to another.

If I found my lehenga, the choli was missing and when I found my choli the lehenga was already within the messed up rumble.

I was not doing this today.

So I sat on my bed and tried calling Samara.

' He's not responding?',She asked me when I told her what had happened.

She told me this could only mean bad news.

'Look he's probably ignoring you.',She explained.

' Why?',I quizzed her.

' Because he doesn't want to talk to you.'

'Do you mean that his interest in me is over?', I wailed.

' Hmm. That's what it looks like. And if our prediction is true, he might call you later to tell you that he's busy and ask you to not call him. Then after few days he will throw away his sim card and completely ghost you.'

'What? No I don't think so.'

Her theories look pretty far-fetched.
Plus if he didn't wanted any contact why would he share his number at all?

'Lets see then.'

Her words were not reasonable but they really made my stomach churn.

What if she is right?

So I sat whole night clutching the mobile phone.

I woke up when my phone rang.
Oh! It was Riyan.

Please don't say' I'm busy'.
I prayed.

' Sarah I'm busy. I'll call you later.'
Then phone beeped to an end.

Ugh.
This was it.

This was the end.

I blinked back few tears and went to sleep.

Next morning I took action.
I threw away my sim card.
Flushed it actually.

Just like that.

Yeah. Done.

I had so much anger that I needed to direct it into something productive.
After agrresively cleaning and packing my clothes into neat stacks, I realised what a fool I had been.

Maybe he was really busy.

That was my only way to contact him.
I lost him.

And then came the real tears.

What had I done?

How could I reach him again?

I was really stupid.

' What should I do?', I asked Samara.

'You really are a fool.',Samara told me.

'Samara. You are the one who told me he isn't interested.',I scolded her frustrated.

'I told you it may be the case. Not it is the case.'

' Now tell me what to do?'

'Let me think.'

' Think fast or I really will do something bad with you.'

' Hey I can't think well when you are threatening me.'

'okay I'll shut up.'

After sometime she spoke,' How about we make trip to Valpoi again?'

' Don't talk stupid with me. As if mom is let me gonna do that.'

After one hour of argument she was still clueless and I was clueless and angry.

I was close to tears.
Tomorrow we were leaving for Amisha's wedding.
I would really have no chance to go to Valpoi again.

This really felt the end of everything.
It felt like something was not letting me breathe.