Diary of a Forgotten Beggar

1. Torment

The nostalgia of a forgotten feeling.
As I traverse through a bad neighbourhood I begin to understand the depth held within my own.

The Regret
The Pain
The Torment

Yet I traverse. Far beyond any saviour. And as I reach the core of a never ending abyss, all hope is lost.

This is my truth.

Knowing the light shall guide me yet I find eternal solitude within the castle of despair. It's a comfortable atmosphere, specifically designed to subconsciously entice the darkness within my own.

This beith but a testament written by a forgotten beggar.

Corrupted by the world of shadow.

A Silhouette
Cast away into the Abyss

Condemned to waltz to the sweet symphony, the cries of those in the eternal flame....

Prelude

I can feel the chill of the cold air sweep over me as I exit the house. Its sends deep shivers through my body. Better move fast. After taking a few steps I suddenly stop and turn back. The house looks like a dilapidated building that has been falling apart for many years. The owners dont seem to care about it any longer and it has become the home for many a beggar destitute and prostitute. But most importantly the main drug site in Parow.

During the day you will find the road full of foreigners all of which are merchants. They sell almost anything but for us here in Cape Town, meth is the most important of them all. During the night it is the base for the gangs that rule the shadows of this forsaken town.

Feeling the tiny packet in my hand I hurriedly hasten toward safety as this is the one place you do not want to be caught alone. The cops are the least of your concern. As I hit the corner of the road I hear voices shouting. Forcing myself not to turn around and look my pace turns into a jog and make my way to the main road.

My name is Kentsin. I too am a foreigner in this forsaken place. I had become addicted to meth 7 years prior to moving here. My parents thought by moving it would help me recover from this disease. But, alas, it was all in vain. After 3 years I had fallen back down to rock bottom and now I am here, homeless again. My parents exiled me me from the house for good this time. It's been a year already and they wont even look at me. I tried to stop though. And prove to them that I could change but it was shortlived. After my mother had fallen Ill and was hospitalized I blamed myself. Resentment began to poison my soul. Resentment towards myself. And then the grip of this disease tightened. It became nearly impossible to pry open the hands of this curse and break free. Little did I know that this was only the beginning.

I half walked half ran to my usual "safe zone". A open field situated next to a bridge leading over to Panorama, oh this beautiful area where all the rich live. I could be here because I averted suspicion from practically anyone. I have this baby face you see. When people look at me they would never think I would commit any type of crime. But little do they know I am the biggest criminal there is. But i would never "shit where I sleep".

Slowly walking now. Making sure I'm not being followed. Obviously plagued by the paranoia which remains as my shadow. Reaching the spot I unpack my bag and make my little bed made from loose material and a dirty ragged sheet. A racing heart. Trembling limbs. Carefully taking out the paraphernalia. A flash if light and inhalation. A head that begins to disappear into the never ending abyss of loneliness and pleasure. Slowly I begin to lose grip of the very reality that made me as I am. Exhaling and I fade into the shadows.