Snake and Spider: Friends Forever

Chapter Twenty-Two

It was three AM. Loki stood in the kitchen boiling water for tea. He couldn't sleep no matter how much he wanted to or probably had to. He hadn't slept in probably over a hundred hours , not because of nightmares, but because of a tangle of emotions he couldn't understand. It seemed to be a mix between anger, grief, fear, and was that love? Loki couldn't tell and he hated it but it seemed to be here to stay. He wished his emotions would return to the way they were before. But he had to admit that since he had opened up to Aunt May and they had taken him in, he had been happier and Loki liked being happy. He felt lighter and stronger when he was.He grabbed the cup of tea leaves off of the shelf when he saw the water try to start boiling. Suddenly, he heard the slap of flesh on the ground. Loki thought he was just hearing things in his sleep deprivation but he then heard someone start muttering to themselves. He pressed his index fingers on either side of the bridge of his nose and poked his head around the corner. He saw Peter laying on the floor trying to stand but being unable to. Something inside Loki twisted in pain to see him like this.

Loki knelt down and grabbed Peter under the armpits and hauled him over to a chair in the kitchen. When he was safely in a chair, Peter said, clearly sleep deprived, "I've always wondered how tall people like you actually manage to sleep at night when the blanket can't cover you fully from your shoulders to your toes."

"Peter, it's three in the morning," Loki said patiently.

"So you can't sleep? Is it because of the blanket?" Peter asked.

"No, because of life," Loki responded.

"Oh, well that's depressing," Peter replied brightly.

"Peter are you okay?" Loki asked worriedly, "Have you been drinking?"

"Nope, just insomnia!" Peter spoke cheerfully. "What are you making?"

"Tea. Want some," Loki answered.

"Sure."

"Want any milk or sugar?"

"I'll just have what you're having."

Sleep deprivation seemed to be catching up to Peter now as his words were slower and his posture drooped. Loki made them both an herbal tea that his mother always made when he was too excited to sleep as a child. He handed Peter a steaming cup and helped him over to the couch. Peter sipped his tea curiously, forgetting that it was hot. It didn't seem to bother him though and he seemed to love it. "I can see why you drink this all the time!" he praised.

"I don't drink this particular brew often, as it's supposed to help people sleep," Loki explained, "And you need your sleep, you're a growing boy."

"Okay mom," Peter said sarcastically while sipping his tea loudly.

Loki chuckled softly. Peter grew silent for some minutes before he asked, "Loki, are you ever afraid?"

Loki froze. Was he ever afraid? He thought back to the time Odin's anger grew too large and he struck Thor. He had felt afraid then but he remembered it was mostly because he worried Odin would hit his mother. He thought back to the time Ezzy had been captured by an enemy when her village was at war. He was deathly afraid that she wouldn't make it out alive. He thought back to the time Thor was almost killed by a stampede of bilgesnipes. He had been afraid then. He thought back to just recently when Peter wouldn't react to any of his potions, healing or awakening ones. He had considered suicide if he couldn't awake Peter he was that afraid. Was he ever afraid? Yes Loki was afraid. Every time something happened to his loved ones, he feared for them. All of the times his mother threw herself right into danger's path. Every time Ezzy went missing or died again. Every time Thor was oafish enough to fight something many times larger than himself. Every time Peter and Aunt May could ever be hurt. Yes he was afraid. He was afraid all of the goddamn time around his newest brother and aunt, around his mother and brother, around his dearest friend.

Loki must have been silent for too long as Peter said. "Because I'm afraid right now. I'm afraid I'm going to get someone killed. I'm afraid I will hurt Aunt May or you with this injury..." Loki held up a hand to silence him. He put his arm over the young boy's shoulder and pulled him close. A strange gesture coming from the god of mischief and Loki felt slightly uncomfortable doing it but if it helped his brother, he would.

"Have I ever been afraid? Yes, every time I hold someone dear I'm afraid. I fear they will be hurt or killed by me or anything else. I fear for the safety of you, Aunt May, Ezzy, Thor, and Mother because everything you guys seem to throw yourselves at, can and will kill you if it gets the chance. I love you guys and you mean the world to me and I'm afraid I will lose you," Loki whispered softly to Peter.

Loki watched as Peter's jaw dropped. He clearly hadn't been expecting such a heart to heart as this one seemed to be turning into. He looked down at his tea as Peter stared at him. He took a slow sip of it and Peter copied his action before entangling the young god in a hug. Loki magiced his tea to the table in front of them and wrapped his arms around Peter. It felt nice to hold someone like this. They eventually separated and returned to their tea. They sat together like this for quite some time before Loki felt Peter's head hit his arm. Loki looked down at him and saw him asleep, he smiled. He wiggled his arm out from underneath the boy and draped it across his shoulder and chest. Peter smiled in his sleep. He wondered if he should try to move Peter but he was afraid to wake him up so he just let Peter sleep on his chest for now. It wasn't hurting anyone by doing so.

Loki soon found himself drifting off to sleep too. As he drifted his mind returned to the plan they had put into place for dealing with Skuggi faðir. He knew it was risky and would likely lead to his death but he would gladly do it if it meant that he could continue having moments like this with his little brother.