tim and moby's thick time: timxmoby tales

Moby gets an ass

     "Moby, what's that?" Tim asked. Moby no longer fit through the door of their shared house, and he wanted to know why.

     "Beep boop beep," Moby replied with a classy wink. He spun around to face Tim and knocked over several plants with his massive, broad, weighty caboose.

     "You...you got an ass?" Tim said, beginning to salivate. Moby nodded with a sly grin.

     "Does it..." Tim trailed off, embarrassed at the question he was preparing to ask. Moby smiled at him warmly.

     "Beep boop," Moby said gently to Tim. 

     "I know, I know, I can ask you anything," Tim said, acknowledging Moby's kind expression. "I guess I just wanted to know...do them robot cheeks clap or nah?"

     "Beep boop beep!" Moby said enthusiastically, and began bussing down, but his cheeks were far too thick. The ground began to rumble with the power of his mighty ass claps.

     "Moby...no! You'll die! No one can clap that much!" Tim cried fearfully, but Moby was already off. His cheeks clapped like a motor; faster, and faster, and faster they went, breaking the sound barrier, until his disgustingly thick booty exploded. It was larger than any atomic bomb developed in any Russian laboratory, larger than even alien technology from any sci-fi movie ever. His cheeks rocked the Earth to its core.

     Slowly, the world began to crumble. The Earth's crust collapsed inwards on itself until there was nothing left. Moby's phat ass single handedly ended life as we know it.