Little White Number

Chapter One

His alarm blared and he rubbed the sleep out of his eyes. As he started to wake, he was once again struck with the same realization- that she wasn't there sleeping beside him. It'd been a few months, but Niall wasn't quite used to waking up alone. He hadn't seen her for about a month since their separation. Even though their separation hadn't been finalized, he knew it was due time before the paperwork came. It felt like forever since she'd darkened his door. By now, he'd removed all the evidence of her existence from their house. No more wedding photos, no more competing for counter space in the bathroom , he even let her have the cat in their personal settlement, but every so often he'd find a stray bobby pin in the carpet and that would set him in a tizzy for the next couple of days. She'd moved to a flat in the city in September after the words "divorce" came from her lips. He'd kept the house- although he found it quite silly to stay in such a house when it was only him and his Golden Retriever, Reuben. Once he was fully awake, he walked to the bathroom in his boxers and tube socks. He scoffed at his scruffy face in the mirror. He didn't realize he'd let himself go that much. He didn't recognize the grey circles under his eyes. He undressed and proceeded into the shower ready to start a new day. As he stepped in, he realized he was out of conditioner. He fumbled out of the shower and started heaving the drawers under the sink open. There had to be another bottle. He quickly opened the bottom drawer and slipped his hand to grab a new conditioner bottle- when he suddenly saw a little black tube roll into view. At first, he wasn't quite sure what it was and then he saw the label which read, "Lash Blast''. His heart sunk- He guessed he still hadn't erased every part of her. He pushed his black frames up his nose, pulled on a polo, slacks and poured some coffee in his tumbler. He kissed Reuben on the top of his head, "See you later boy". He grabbed his bag from the foyer and took a quick glance at the mirror. A quick memory in his head of her good-morning kiss on the cheek flashed into his brain. Niall tried to shake this image out of his head and shot right out of the door.

Niall took the short trek to the tube station. He took a cool breath of the foggy London sky. He sighed and pulled his tube-card from this wallet and scanned it, and was quick about getting on the next train toward Russell Square. He pulled a hand through his brown curls and waltzed through the doors of The Guardian. His wife... his ex-wife had always been his first love, but his job as a journalist had always been a close second. He loved being able to write about current issues that were late breaking. The adrenaline took thoughts of her... She had a name. It took the thoughts of Grace out of his head. Any escape was a good escape. Niall took the elevator to his office. He sighed at the pile of case assignments on his desk as he set his satchel down. His co-workers forced smiles as they shuffled into their cubicles. He never made an announcement about Grace leaving, but his co-workers caught on when he stopped bringing her to cocktail hours, and recently when he stopped wearing the white gold ring. It was Friday-- He only had to survive a couple more hours until he was set free for the weekend.

Niall booted his laptop and started on an elective piece about a new environment bill that was being discussed in Parliament. He took a sip of his lukewarm coffee and mentally was counting down the hours until he could go home. He had been feeling particularly un-inspired these days. Perhaps it was because no one was going to ask him how his day was when he got home, unless Reuben suddenly learned English by this evening. He didn't have a lot of mates in town as he was Irish born and fell head over heels with Grace when he went to university in England. He studied Journalism and She was in an Event Management Program. They met in a large lecture hall where they were both taking Psychology. He'll always remember when her cheeks flushed pink as she scribbled her mobile number when they were assigned partners for a presentation on Cognitive Perspective. They were practically inseparable from then on.

Shortly after he'd gotten on one knee, she landed a gig at one of London's top wedding planning firms so there was no real debate about where they were going to move after they wed. They purchased their house toward the end of their engagement, so he never looked back. He did have some work mates--friends because of convenience and proximity. As Niall was typing away his co-worker Louis popped into his office, "Wanna go for a pint after hours, Nialler? A couple blokes and I just wanna let loose after this week," Louis suggested. Niall smiled as he considered the offer. Then he remembered the leftovers he had in the fridge and that he hadn't yet taken Reuben for a walk. "Sorry mate, I got plans, but count me in for the next one," Niall smiled back. After a couple more hours of staring at the clock and furiously typing, Niall sent his draft to the editor for approval, collected his things, and headed toward the elevator. His relief was short-lived when he looked out the bay windows of the office building to see it was raining. Niall used his pad-folio as an umbrella as he jogged to the tube station.

On the ride back, he drummed his fingers on his pad-folio. He looked down at his hands, that were tired from a long day's work of typing. Out of habit, he had a moment of panic when he didn't see his white gold band on his ring finger. With a couple blinks, he remembered that it was in the second drawer on his bedside table accompanied by his birth certificate and other important documents. To be honest, Niall missed wearing it. The beautiful white gold band was adorned with three azure blue sapphires. Niall wasn't really a flashy kind of man, but when Grace pointed the ring out at the Jeweler's he couldn't resist. It went perfectly with her gorgeous white gold pear shaped engagement piece and her band with alternating diamonds and sapphires. Niall was reminiscing about ring shopping until he almost missed the tube stop home.

He slid the keys into the door and Reuben greeted him. Niall smiled as he scratched his dog behind the ears. Niall wondered if Reuben ever missed their cat, Bella. Every so often he'd find cat hair while vacuuming. He shrugged off his satchel and made a bee-line up the stairs. Sometimes he felt like he was living in a time capsule. This was the house he carried Grace into after they'd come home from their honeymoon. Every inch of this place was full of memories, but it was November. Leaves were falling. It's time to shed the past and create anew. He slid off his work clothes until it was just his underwear, an undershirt and tube socks. He trudged down the stairs and filled Reuben's food bowl. Niall then opened the fridge to grab the Tikka Masala he carried out earlier that week. He still wasn't used to cooking for one. He put on a film, grabbed a pint, and began to eat with Reuben by his side. This has been his new normal for a while now.

Slightly tipsy, Niall wobbled up the stairs. Reuben climbed the stairs with him. Niall set his glasses by on the table and plopped into bed. He enveloped himself in the crisp grey sheets. They seemed much colder than the satin sheets Grace picked out in their wedding registry. Niall couldn't help but think of her everyday. He missed her long blonde curls, her peach-pink lips, the way she'd laugh at his horrible jokes. The way her hand felt so is right in his. They were a team. They were. He was her husband for three years. Three years until her face grew pale and she stopped loving him. She never did fully explain why she left him. This is why time after separation, Niall was still so deeply in love with her... his wife. Wife, now sounded like a peculiar word. He wondered if he'd ever be someone's husband again. Niall snuggled his body pillow and escaped into a boozy slumber.