Horrible mess

6

When I woke up, I was confused. Why was my bed so warm? I don't remember my bed ever being this comfortable... I open my eyes, realizing what was wrong. I wasn't in my room. I was in Larry's. I sit up, but instantly regret it. My head was still a little groggy from the previous night. I loom around, not seeing Larry, but hearing the shower running, so I'm guessing that he's showering before school.

Oh shit. I still have school today and all my stuff's up in my room! What am I going to do? I start to freak out, breathing heavily and scratching my neck. I curl up into a ball while still sitting up, pulling at my hair, crying.

I don't know how long I was like that, but Larry was rushing over to me, hugging me, making sure that I wasn't hurting myself. He takes my hands away from my head, instead putting them around him. I hugged him tightly, sobbing.

"Hey, what's wrong Sal?"

"I-I have to g-get my stuff from m-my apartment f-for school...." I whimper, thinking about my dad.

"Yeah... That may pose as a problem, but if it makes you feel better, I'll go with you."

I nod instantly, not wishing to be alone. We both stand up, walking out of his apartment, entering the elevator. I stand there, grabbing and messing with the hem of my sweater so that I don't scratch myself. Larry noticed this before reaching over to take my hand. I grip his hand tightly, glad for the distraction.

We got up to my floor. We walk out and I lead the way to my apartment, apartment 402. I lift a shaky hand to the door handle, looking behind me to make sure that Larry was still there. He was, and he gave me a thumbs up. I slowly turn the handle, opening up the door.

I open the door and as soon as I do, a bottle was thrown at me. It hit me in the prosthetic, causing my head to whip backwards. I fall, and Larry catches me.

"What the fuck Sal?! Where the hell have you been?! Do you realize what time it is?!" My dad screamed, obviously not looking in my direction because otherwise he would have mentioned something about Larry.

"I-I uhhhh...." I stutter, not knowing how to respond. "I n-need to get m-my stuff o-or else the s-school's going to wonder why I-I don't have my stuff with m-me..."

My dad grunted, waving me to go to my room before lumbering back into his room. I stand up, running into my room, Larry right by me. We got in there and I grabbed all the homework I couldn't do. I sigh, looking at all these papers. I look up to Larry, seeing that he was examining my room and the blood stain on the floor.

"Come on, before he changes his mind." I whisper. Larry nods.

We run out of my apartment, stepping over the glass that was now in the hallway. I kick the glass into our apartment, not wanting anyone else to step on it and hurt themselves. Larry and I both then headed back to the elevator. When we got there, we sat in silence, except for the classical music that played.

We got back down to the basement, where we headed straight back into Larry's room. We sat in there, not really knowing what to say. I couldn't look Larry in the eye because I know what I'll see. Pity. Sympathy. I hate to feel pitied.

"Hey man-" Larry started, but I held up a hand to stop him.

"Please, don't." I say, tears in my eyes.

Silence. It was so loud, too loud. It was overwhelming, but it was still better than the words that were being left unsaid.

Weak. Pathetic.

The voices start. I internally groan, hating when the voices start to whisper things to me.

Worthless. Stupid. Idiot. Just go die. Waste of space.

I start to cry as quietly as I could manage, scratching at my wrists and neck slightly. I could sense that Larry was moving closer to me, but I didn't stop, I couldn't stop. I needed it, I needed the pain to feel better. I feel Larry grab my hands, forcing me to stop. I just cry, listening to the voices.

You're so dumb. You can't do anything right. You killed your mom.

"Pl-please... stop..." I sob into Larry's shoulder.

"Stop what? What's going on dude?" Larry asked, clearly confused on what was going on.

"Th-the whispers..." I whisper, afraid that he'll think I'm cray.

His face was solemn. "What- what are they saying?" He asked, serious.

"Uhh... T-that I'm dumb a-and worthless and... that I'm w-weak and pathetic..." I sob. " and that I-I killed m-my mom and that I c-can't do anything right...."

Larry held me closer. "Well, then they're lying. You are by far one of the toughest people I know, despite knowing you for just over a day.. You are also really smart, I've seen that by just having a couple of classes with you." He said, his eyes were as warm as honey on a summer day. "You are worth so much, not just to me, but to Ash and Todd and Chug and Maple. So, your whispers are lying to you."

I cry harder, hugging him tighter. That was the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me a meant it full heartedly. 

"Th-thank you Larry..."

"Anytime Blue. Anytime."