Dear Diary

Entry #4

Dear Diary,
Often I question myself and or life. Today I was feeling extra existential. Stuff like how am I... me? How do I control what I do and don't do? How can writing out letters in coherent sentences be classified as writing?

Words are just words, school is just school, and life is just life... until you do something about it.
-L.J

I signed off my latest entry and closed the book as quickly as I could gaining the attention of the one and only Jack stationed right next to me. He looked at my desk and smirked. "Whatcha got there?" he said playfully though I was not in the mood to communicate.

The teacher let me eat lunch in her class though I rarely actually ate, she would often leave the class for some time, and just my luck she was out when Jack decided to come in and bother me. When I didn't answer he grabbed the book off my desk and started flipping through it. "H-hey, give it back!" I said my voice weak. He just put his hand on my chest to hold me back. I was so stunned at his touch that I froze in place just letting him read my deepest darkest secrets. "Life is just life... until you do something about it." He recited. "You got some powerful stuff in here Jones." He kept flipping back until he froze, a deep smirk forming over his perfect lips. God damnit, stop it. I yelled at myself stopping me from going any further. "You never told me you were a fag."

My heart dropped and so did my face. I swear I saw something in his eyes flicker, something in his face changed I just didn't know what. I grabbed the book from him and stood up, slinging my backpack over my shoulder as I did. "Yeah well, not really something I would tell the school bully, I already get bullied enough as it is. I don't need everyone knowing the fact that I'm gay, they'd fucking kill me" I said walking out of the room.

I was to busy storming off I didn't see his face fall.