Set in Hell, this wild story captures the stories of Satan, Justin BEANber, Thanos (uwu), Ursula, Miss Havisham, Dracula, and Frankenstein's monster (affectionately called Frankie for our lack of creativity to create a new name befitting of the mons...
It's strange, he never expected to go to heaven, but he never thought he was that bad to land into hell. To him, hell was The Ultimate Devil, hell was manslaughter and people who have committed the evilest of crimes.
"Was I really that bad when I still existed?" He thought to himself while trudging along the sandy ground towards the orientation centre. :(
Satan stood at the gate, hands (hands?) pressed tightly against their airy waist. They was breathing in the sulfur to relax, but their tight frame and motherly eyes looked like they was waiting for Thanos to arrive.
Thanos quickly and daintily approached, light on his very tiny feet. 🦶
"SATAN!! :DD" He chirped.
Satan flashed a quick frown. "okay."
"you're so different from what i expected!"
"What did you expect?"
"i don't know......fire...knives and stuff like that."
"That was season 1 of Hell, we are on season 420 (blaze it) now. It's tiring being stereotypically evil."
Thanos didn't know how to respond, but he knew he resonated with that statement somehow. He felt sad for Satan, and fully believed them. They seemed tired, so tired...
"From hard carrying the whole universe maybe."
"WHAT? u can read thoughts??? :(" Thanos felt personally attacked and invaded.
"As I said, we are on season 420. Thursdays are for mind reading."
Thanos sighed. He had a lot to learn, and a lot to catch up on. Specifically.. 419 seasons.
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"Anyways, our first stop. This is the party room." Satan showed Thanos a decently sized large ballroom, complete with a disco ball and chandelier co-existing. There was an empty buffet table with one or two maintenance workers fixing the wifi router in the corner. It seemed like a perfectly normal party room — except for the large painting of Donkey from Shrek that hung from the ceiling — but even that was pretty normal for what was considered to be the most exotic afterlife.
"What do we do here?" Thanos enquired.
"Party."
"Just that?"
"I guess. There's also mediocre fruit punch and snacks around if you have a food consumption kink." (There was no need to eat food in hell, thus Satan was slightly unfamiliar with the terminology.)
"Oh."
"Are you disappointed?"
"NO! I just... this doesn't sound evil at all."
In his mind and deep (very deep...) soul, Satan immediately started taking mental notes of their treasured bean's feedback. They believed they felt a slight tinge (ever so slight) of concern and worry.... that their guests would not enjoy his creations. Which was an unfamiliar feeling.
"Does hell have to be evil?" They defensively explained themself. "We just want slightly less than moral people to come here and chill out. You're already a bean, that's bad enough."
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Thanos felt just slightly insulted. So he was a bean. So what? Are beans bad?
Satan sighed. "Sorry, I didn't mean to antagonise beans. Point being, hell isn't a fiery pit, just a really lit and chill place."
Thanos's heart softened. It was a warm fuzzy feeling, like you finally knew where you belonged. Uwu. Where beans belonged. Uwu. He was, however, slightly uncomfortable with Satan''s mind reading.
"So how did you get here? Just what are you?" A honey voice sounded. It was the other bean. Justin Beanber.
"You're my dad! Woogie woogie boogie boogie!"
"I'm not a male." Satan frowned awkwardly.
It was a sight to behold. Even Justin Beanber's jaw fell to the floor (contrary to popular belief, this wasn't a hyperbole, as beans aren't that tall standing up). But the sight in front of them, that wasn't an exaggeration either.
There was an "8 foot tall, hideously ugly creation, with translucent yellowish skin pulled so taut over the body that it barely disguised the workings of the arteries and muscles underneath". It had "watery, glowing eyes, flowing black hair, black lips, and prominent white teeth. And this creature was hugging Satan. (Satan disappeared and appeared again, behind the creature.)
Thanos and Justin Beanber both felt this strange emotion whilst staring at the creature. It was a negative emotion...a negative emotion toward this creature they have never seen before, but the moment they saw it appear, they felt...
Jealousy.
Of all things, they turned into beans that can't even look at Satan in the eye, but this creature manages a height of 8 foot? Why does inequality exist in hell when they have already experienced it enough in the mortal realm?
