Trying Not To Love (COMPLETED)

Chapter 34

Chapter Thirty Four- I missed you

It felt as if I had the worse and the best dream of my life in one night. But it wasn't a dream. It was reality. I woke up with Easton beside me. His lashes shadowing his cheeks, his lips inviting, and his limbs tangled with mine.

I would never want to wake up to anything else now. This was it.

After we had the breakfast at a nearby grill he took me back home. "You're not coming?" His eyes held me captive, haunting my heart. He wrapped an arm around my waist, pulling me into him. His lips found mine and it was last night all over again. This time the kiss was slow and full of promises.

He pulled away, grinning at me, brushing a lock of my hair behind my ear. "I want us to take whatever this is...one day at a time."

I nodded, completely understanding that.

"I want you to be sure of this."

"But I am--" He sealed my lips with a quick kiss,  "No. Like sure sure. I want to be around you without wanting to kill your brother or vice versa. I want to be by you when you are laughing and talking with Jeanette. I'll be at Elliot's for couple more days."

He might have seen the disappointment and sadness in my eyes because gently he pushed me against the door and kissed the corner of my lips. "I'm not re-thinking anything. I love you. I love you so much, Dragon." My legs gave out and he chuckled, supporting me.

Fire burned my cheeks, neck, and eyes. I grabbed his face and gave him one last kiss before he left. Sighing, I shut the door behind me and turned-- "Oh god." I placed a hand on my heart.

 Alden and Tabby stood with their eyes trained at me. Alden crossed his arms over his chest, his brow raised in question. "Care to tell where you were last night?"

Tabby rolled her eyes and plopped on the couch, "You reek of happiness." She grinned, wiggling her eyes.

I think I just bounced on feet, they both started to laugh and I joined them. I hugged Alden. "He loves me..."

"We heard."

"He loves me."

"Okay, she has officially gone nuts. I'll see you guys later." She pulled me in a hug and kissed my cheek before rushing upstairs.

We sat down side by side, watching the fireplace in silence. "You're truly happy."

I nodded. No words needed.

"I haven't seen you this happy since mom--"

Whatever Mr. Brinkley told, it would always stay between us. One of them needed to know something which can't be undone.

Now, I understood why mom said all those things. "Everyone is worth it." "Be yourself and you'll find someone you'd love you for who you are."

I understood, 'Some love are greater than others' indeed.

I pulled Alden in a bear hug, his arms embracing me. "What's this for?"

"For finding love." I pulled away and grinned, "You deserve to be happy just as anyone. If Jeanette is the one who makes you alive, then I love her too. I just want you two to be happy too."

Alden just at me like a puzzle coming together. "Mom would be really proud of you."

***

"Tabby please!" I groaned, ignoring the dress she shot at me.

"No ifs no buts. You're not backing out now." I didn't want to go to this Charity function thingy.

I plopped down on the floor, pretending to be dead. She threw her head back and laughed, throwing yet another slutty dress at me.

"GO! Try now or I'll just buy whatever and force you to wear it tomorrow."

I sighed, wishing--

"You're here. Good. Please convince her to try the dresses." Tabby pulled Jeanette in a hug and grinned.

Our eyes met. We hadn't talk since that day at school. All of us had been sorting through our thoughts and giving each other space. It was something like magic that one second we were fighting and another we'd be best forever again. That's not how it happened in real life.

We all needed time. Time to heal and understand.

But, I was ready to take the first step. I stood up and pulled her in for a hug. "I missed you." I heard her sob against my shoulder, bringing tears to me.

Tabby groaned, "Girls. Please. I'm so done with the crying."

We laughed and pulled away. Jeanette snagged a pale greenish-blue dress from the pile Tabby threw at me, "Try this. It matches his eyes."

I blushed, nodding and went inside the stall. I heard Tabby whined she'd been trying this for thirty minutes and how Jeanette managed to do in a minute.

She was right. It was the same color as his eyes.

We all choose our dresses for the events, ate and went home. I asked Jeanette to come over, she and Alden too needed to sort out things. But just as Tabby left us alone, Jeanette turned to me. We had been gossiping in my room for almost an hour now.

"I'm sorry. I broke your trust."

I listened.

"Easton and I... we're different. We did love each other but... I don't know when I stopped being in love with him. The first night I met Alden, I'd accidentally walked into his room-- I didn't know anyone was in there. I just needed some space. When I saw him, he was so sad. His sadness drew mine. I had a little too much to drink-- but I can't blame it on alcohol. I just wanted someone to take the pain away. My parents are getting a divorce."

I grabbed onto her hand and squeezed. "You don't have to--"

"No. I want to. No more secrets." I nodded, wiping her tear. "I didn't even know his name but I told him that. He told me about your mom's death and that even your dad left. He was broken, drinking alone. So we drank sorrows together. Something really strong passed between us and it just happened and then you saw. After that we kept our distance. We tried ignoring each other. Didn't work. We tried being friends. Didn't work. The more time we spent together, the stronger the pull grew. Then on the night of your birthday we fell into a huge argument.

"He confessed his love for me and I didn't know what I wanted. I loved Easton I did... but what I felt for Alden was far more stronger and crazier. Easton and I both fell into pit of silence and confusion, trying to figure things out. We'd been together for almost three years and we were so attached that we couldn't separate attachment from love. I had my doubts about you too... it was clear at time when you stared at each other or when he took you drag racing. And he told me about the cabin too. If anything I felt relieved that he had you. I know how pathetic of me--"

"No. It's not." I smiled through my tears, my vision blurred. "It's love and it's never easy."

We hadn't reached the point we could easily talk about our new relationships so I kept Easton and my kiss to myself.

She hugged for the last night, misunderstanding weathering away. Forgiveness remained. "I should go and talk to Alden." I nodded. "You should."

Just before leaving she said, "I'm happy you're happy. I'll see you tomorrow at school,Cass."

I nodded, my grin widening.