[Banana Fish One Shots] What They Deserved

Did You Even Think About Him?

Chapter Description: Ash thinks that death will finally bring him peace. However, Death themself,  can't decide if it is truly time for him to go. 

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Ash's point of view

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I can feel my breath slowing as pain begins to spread from the area of the stab, but I can't go yet. My breath hitches as  I fight the panic. If I panic the blood will come out faster, I need to calm down. I try to take a deep breath, but it hitches once again as my vision blurs with it. I can feel a few eyes turn toward me, but it's not like they are gonna say anything to me. Screwing my eyes shut, I immediately blink them open and my vision has cleared. 

 You asked me over and over again if you scared me. But I never feared you. Not once 

Eiji, how stupid can you be? Even now I can't tell if you are fearless or just that dumb. You watched me kill dozens as if they were nothing but ants on the sidewalk. And yet you stuck to me like glue, even risking your life for mine. Why? Why can't you see how perfect you are, but you just had to choose me. 

I sink my teeth into my bottom lip as I hold back a groan when pain begins shooting through my head. My vision has blurred again so I dig one palm into my eye and the pressure in one seems to help the sight of the other. 

You're way smarter, bigger, and stronger than me. But I always felt like I had to protect you. I wonder what it is I wanted to protect you from.
I wanted to protect you from fate.
The fate that tries to carry you away, drifting further and further

No..no thats- Eij- 

The heat that washes over me disrupts my thoughts. Clenching my teeth, I look down at my other hand and remove it for a moment, before immediately pressing it hard against the wound again. Shit. My shirt is now clinging to the wound, and it's pretty clear that I won't be making it out of this one. I already knew that when I arrived, but the closer I get to my final moments, the more real it becomes, and panic sweeps over me once again. 

I want to try to shake it off, but then a thought flashes through my head. 

I am wasting time.

I unintentionally squeeze my hand into a fist, and the sound of crumbling paper rings in my ears. 

My eyes widen in shock, and I try my best to unwrinkle the pages, so I can finish.  Reading this letter will be the last thing I do, and if I want to die without regrets I need go finish it.

You're not alone. I'm by your side.
My soul is always with you.

I draw in a breath sharply at those words, and it's then that I realize, my breathing has gotten dangerously slow. 

My soul is always with you. 

Eiji, my body feels heavy. I don't hurt anymore. I'm more tired than I am scared. Eiji, if I look up to the window will I see your plane flying by? Do  I get to selfish enough to wish to see you one last time? 

I feel heavy. Im exhausted, and don't have the energy to feel panic anymore. I've finished the letter. I finally feel okay. The only other time I've ever felt this at ease is when I was with him. Half out of my own will, my head sets itself on top of his letter, and I can't help but smile. 

Eiji is leaving America, but he said he will never leave my side. Knowing how stubborn he is, he really means it. The last time I heard his voice he told me to "GO!" Thinking of those words again, I hear them as him soothing me. Telling me its okay to rest now.

Eiji, let my soul forever be right next to yours.