Up against the locker ~ Larry Stylinson

Chapter 3 "My secret"

"C'mon then tell me about yourself" Louis said, "Let me catch my breath, you just punched me" I answerd. He had a little smirk on his face, I could see that he enjoys seeing me in pain. "Well....I-I live here, I have no friends the closest I come to a friend is Liam, I don't have a family, so I study hard so I can get a good job. I don't have anything better to do. And what else do I do...oh yes, you bully me is a part of my life and yes I hate it...and I was kidna....." I said and at the last I put my hand over my mouth, I almost told him my secret. I can't tell him he will bully me more than before and it's not the gay part, everyone knows that.

I can't let him know that I was kidnapped when I was born, I was abused and raped. That's one of the reasons I don't trust people. When I was 16 I managed to escape, the guy who kidnapped me is still out there probaly looking for me, his name is Jack. 

Lucky I didn't leave any track of where I was going, and now I'm 18 and have never met my real family. I'm full of scars on my back after a knife that Jack had used on me, when I refused to suck him. I'm just lonely and tries to live normal, this is the way I wan't it. I don't want anyone in my absurd life.

Louis just looks at me with his eyes wide open, I snapped my eyes from his and looked down at the ground. "So... tell me a little about you" I said and looked back up at him. He shook his head and blinked his eyes. "I live here alone, I moved out from my mum's house. I have many friends, my best mate is Niall Horan, I have a mother a stephdad and I have 6 half sisters and 1 little half brother. I love football and hanging out with friends, but I also like to be a little for myself. And I bully you" He said and looked down. I looked at him... I wanted to ask him why he does that, why do Louis bully me? But I could see that he wasn't up for it.

"Why don't you try to make any friends?" he asked and looks over at me. "I-I-I don't trust people" I said truthfully. "Is some of that my fault?" he asked and I could see a sad look on his face. "No... it's not your fault, it's something that happened in my past.......I don't want to talk about it" I said. 

"Fine, you don't need to tell me....I respect that" he said, I couldn't belive that he respected that. Louis Tomlinson respected that I didn't tell him my past? he grabbed my hand and said "I know I bully you, but that doesn't mean that I don't think you should have any friends. I don't want you to do anything stupied.....and well if you ever want to talk about it you can talk to me I would never tell a secret if someone told me to keep it" he said and smiled at me. I just nodded. 

I can't belive what he just said! But it's true he is a boy you can rely on, but what did he mean with me doing anything stupied? He didn't want me to kill myself? I have tought about it, but I will not be that selfish. There is so many people having a bader life then mine and mine is now getting better, I just need to get through high school and this assignment.

We were both quiet for a while, and just looked down. "Can I..." I said and pointed at the bed, "Sure" he answered, I layed down on the bed to relax. He layed down next to me, we just looked up at the roof. Before a voice broke the silent. "You don't want to tell me because you are afraid that I will bully you more...arn't you?" He asked still looking up. 

"A little.... yes....why do you bully me?" It just popped out of me, I didn't think. "I don't need to tell you why" he said, "Then you understand why I won't tell you, you don't trust me and I don't trust you" I said and we kept on  looking up at the roof. "We have to find a way we can show the teacher that we have bonded...hmm" he said and turned his face towards me.

I turned my head and looked at him. "Tell me about how it is to be you?" I said, "Okey... Well you think that being popular is the best thing, but it's not. I have only one true friend and that's Niall, the rest of the people is just using me....they use me to get status and girls use me so they can say they have had sex with the most popular boy at school.  Boys use me to say that they know me and are my friend so they can get girls. I can tell you I'm sick of it! And I don't have sex with the girls anymore, because they have sex with you and then just leave you. They just want status, and I'm sick of it, now I don't have sex with anyone before I know they are a person that truly loves me for who I am." He said and looked down, I didn't know how it was to be popular...I guess that it wasn't so easy to be the most wanted boy at school. 

"Your turn" he said and looked back at me with is amazing ocean blue eyes. "Well....I don't do much, I go around with a constant pain and hate over me, the fear of being recognized and well all the lonleyness is'nt the best in the world" I said and looked back at him, he had a worried look on his face. 

I quickly said "It's not because of you that I'm afraid of being recognized and I'm not afraid of you, it's something from the past" and looked at him, he looked more relieved now I could se that he wanted to know my past, but I just couldn't tell him, I don't trust him. It was dark outside now and soon we both fall asleep...