Confused // Sean Mcloughlin

Chapter 21

Time skip to a week later. You and felix are in his home.

I was sitting on the couch, watching TV and felix was in his recording room making another video. Eventually he walked into the living room and sat down on the couch, next to me "so, what do you want to do while you're here?" I shrugged at his question and looked at him "i don't know, we could hang out more, out of everyone in the group, you and i dont hang out much" he hummed

We sat there for a few more minutes in silence then he stood up. "I'm ordering food, you want anything?" "Uh, yeah, (favourite ordered food)" he left the room and i sunk more into the couch with a groan and mumbled "this is going to be the most awkward few weeks ever"

I didn't know how wrong i was at that moment.

The days went by and Felix and i got closer, we became good friends, we hung out a lot and it became less awkward as time went on. You could almost mistake us for being a couple, but i knew he had a crush on this girl called Marzia, if he didn't, i probably would've made a move already.

There was another two days before I would go home.

I knew felix was doing a live stream but i was bored and me being super childish when I'm bored, i decided to annoy him. I grabbed a bag of marshmallows that i had bought a couple days ago and opened the door just enough so no one could see me, i quietly opened the bag and threw one at felix, missing him completely. I threw another one and it landed on his shoulder then fell to the floor.

He didn't look at where it came from but rather where it landed. He picked it up and was about to look right at me but i threw another one at him and hit him in the face. He turned and looked at me and i mouthed 'I'm bored!' He turned back to his game and paused it saying "well, you could join my live stream. Slowly you grabbed another marshmallow and ate it then said "uuhh...no, i don't really want to be on YouTube right now. He nodded and i walked back to the living room "well that was a complete waist of time for both of us"

I sat on the couch and sighed. My mind was blank, then:

Seán

The thought of him filled every inch of my mind.

His hair, soft and always smelt nice

His eyes, the most beautiful shade of blue ever

His smile, absolutely beautiful

His laugh, mesmerising

Seán

He is perfect in every way and form, at least to me he is.

I want him.

I need him.

"I love him"

Seán

He doesn't want me

He doesn't need me

"He doesn't love me"

Seán