Oh. My. Fate?! (BL, Volume 8, Part 2)

238 My Fault

Thinking of Jing Yi's sad face, Qiu Ling couldn't help but glance at Qiang Yan. "You're biased in Jing He's favor."

The God of War only shrugged his shoulders in response. "What do you want me to say? Jing He is my nephew. Jing Yi is ..." He shook his head. "I get that he is also somebody special to you since you've spent a lot of time with him. But I've only met him once. And while he seemed to recognize me, if I haven't been told that this was Jing He's reincarnation, I wouldn't even know. That isn't something you can see, after all.

"No, without being told, he would just be a regular human boy to me, nothing more. The only reason I felt a bit bad about it back then was because I knew that Jing He would remember. But I was worried about Jing He himself, not his reincarnation. Naturally, my nephew's feelings will be in first place for me."

Qiu Ling furrowed his brows at that. Even though it was logical, that didn't help him at all. He wanted the opinion of somebody who wouldn't be biased. Otherwise, how would that person be able to give him any good advice? They would just say whatever fit the person they liked better. That wasn't actual help!

Qiang Yan could only sigh when he saw Qiu Ling's expression. "I get that this is difficult for you. But I guess you'll have to make a decision on your own. Who is more important to you? That's the only question you need to answer."

"But what if I can't answer it?"

Qiang Yan gave Qiu Ling a pointed look but stayed quiet. Obviously, whether he could or couldn't, a decision needed to be made. Otherwise, he would only hurt both. "If you drag it out ... It won't help. You either decide on doing it or you decide against it but tell him so. You can't just make the decision for yourself and keep quiet about it. That wouldn't be a decision at all. Since he already knows about the trial and everything, you might as well be open with him."

Qiu Ling nodded but to be honest, this didn't bring him any closer to making a decision at all. He should probably say that it had been a waste of time to come here.

He sighed and then got up, putting the chair back in place. "Well, thanks for trying. I'll go and figure something out." He didn't wait for Qiang Yan's answer and just left his palace again.

Qiang Yan sighed and shook his head, taking off his outer robe again and going back to bed. He couldn't immediately fall asleep though. If he could, he really would like to help. But everything he said would naturally be in Jing He's favor. And even though he felt that Qiu Ling should definitely choose Jing He, it wasn't that easy to convince him.

Even if he told him all his reasons, Qiu Ling might not decide that way. And if that was the case, then maybe it was better to let him come to terms with this on his own. That way, he at least wouldn't have to deal with it if Qiu Ling decided against Jing He and he was the one who finally had to console his nephew.

Outside, Qiu Ling was standing on the road, wondering whether he should go back or not. As much as he wanted to, he also couldn't help but look in the direction of Jing He's palace. He hesitated but finally sighed to himself and went over. Anyway, he was here already. He might as well go and have a look to see if everything was alright and if these two guys inside weren't slacking off.

When Qiu Ling sneaked into the palace, Qiang Wei and Yi Zan immediately drew their weapons and wanted to confront the person that would dare to invade the crown prince's palace. Seeing that it was their King, they stepped aside.

"Your Majesty."

Qiu Ling gave them a nod and then waved for them to step away. Anyway, since he had come here, he wanted to spend a moment with Jing He alone.

Only when the two of them had left did he sit down at the edge of the bed and looked at Jing He's figure. He was still lying there the same way he had been lying there the last time, his face peaceful while his lips were raised in a gentle smile as if he was just sleeping and having a nice dream.

Qiu Ling took his hand and gently interlaced their fingers, smiling back at him. "Did you miss me?" He watched his expression that didn't change at all and sighed to himself.

"I guess I'm an idiot. Seeing you, I feel bad. I want nothing more than for you to wake up again and continue to spend your life with me. But when I leave and am in front of him, I also can't bring myself to end it. Even though it would be so easy.

"Killing him, getting you back ... Maybe that is what you would want. But how could I do that? Never mind what it would mean to Jing Yi, I also can't take the thought that you would remember being killed by me. Even if it is your reincarnation and not the real you. I don't want you to have any such thoughts."

He caressed Jing He's hand and lightly kissed his knuckles, before giving another sigh. "I left him a message saying that I was going to take care of some matters and would return soon. So I'm afraid I can't stay here for long."

He reached out and wanted to brush through Jing He's hair but a light hiss sounded as soon as he stretched out his hand. Qiu Ling raised his brows and then looked over, finally noticing that small beast he had brought back for Jing He.

"Oh. So you're still here. I hope you've been doing a good job." Well, considering that the thing had actually dared to hiss at him, it should be taking this seriously.

The beast gave him a dark look and then curled its body in the other direction, nestling in Jing He's hair again.

Qiu Ling sighed. "You haven't even been able to look at that little one. I wonder if you'll like it. I also wonder what you'll have to say about all of this. You know, now that I think about it, it's my own fault. I ... I wanted to surprise you so I kept quiet about what I was about to do and just followed you silently without you ever knowing.

"To think I was so proud back then. Now, I realize that I actually made a huge mistake. I should've told you. I should have made sure that we would be prepared. Then maybe, we could have talked about such things. Maybe I would know how to deal with this situation then. It's really ... all my fault."