𝐦𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐝𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐬 ☾𝐭𝐚𝐞𝐠𝐲𝐮

𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐬

"you have a girlfriend?" i quirked an eyebrow, slamming my locker shut to give all my attention to the male in front of me.

"... yeah- why is it so hard to believe?" huening kai, my friend, frowned, his eyebrows furrowing adorably as he did so.

i sighed, wondering if i should speak my mind or stay quiet. people sometimes said i was blunt, which i didn't believe but still worried about. i didn't want to hurt kai's feelings, but i also didn't like biting my tongue right now.

key words: right now.

occasionally, biting my tongue was a thing i had to do. like with you. i love you. so much. but i can't say anything, because i know you don't love me the way i love you. there's no point in telling you anything just to experience the sheer pain and heartbreak of you saying no. so, i bite my tongue and stay quiet.

"it's just- never mind." i dismissed quite quickly upon realising that violating kai wouldn't be the best addition to my day, "what's her name?" i asked instead.

"park jihyo-"

"huening..." i frowned, a deep sigh leaving my lips.

"i thought i told you to stop talking to your twice posters."

i had been avoiding you all day.

i didn't mean to, but after friday it was all i could think to do. for whatever reason, it was so painful that day. way more painful than usual. the whole weekend, my mind keep flickering to you and i would have the worst coughing fits. ones that left my throat sore. it confused me because usually i had to physically see you or hear you say something to trigger my hanahaki.

it scared me.

so i had been avoiding you, because i was scared. scared of talking to you, because i didn't know what pain it would bring. this weekend reminded me of something. it reminded me of how serious this stupid rare disease was.

it reminded me that it was fatal.

i had to be more serious about things. i couldn't be around you too often, because i couldn't take it. i couldn't take the pain, and i couldn't handle seeing bloodied petals. i couldn't stand hearing the sound of my mother crying each night, because she constantly has to find me passed out on the bathroom floor surrounded by petals because i was too stubborn and whipped for you to even think of getting surgery-

i looked up at the sound of someone plopping themselves into the seat next to me, my blood soon running cold in a swift realisation.

it was you.

to be honest, it was amusing how this whole day i was avoiding you even though it was inevitable we'd meet. call it fate, but we had the same last lesson everyday and you sat beside me in all of them. there was no point in me running away from you, because you'd always find me fifth period.

"we need to talk." you said, voice serious and face showing nothing but annoyance.

"i can't, my mum wants me straight home today." i lied, my heart hurting as i did so.

my heart always hurt when i lied to you.

"bullsh*t, your mum works on mondays." you spat, my stomach churning at your words.

i sighed, scrutinising my desk simply to avoid your gaze due to my embarrassment. i could never lie to you. you knew too much about me for anything untrue to roll off my lips unnoticed. sometimes i found it cute, but at times like this it purely frustrated me.

"why're you avoiding me?-"

"your essays are due today, so, yeonjun, can you collect them in please?" your sentence was cut off by our history teacher, much to your annoyance and my relief.

i couldn't help but feel my heart drop at her words, however, my eyes casting to none other than choi yeonjun who was collecting in the essays row by row.

when you had told me he was back in town, i didn't know you meant he was back for good.

"miss, i couldn't print my essay out because i don't have a printer at home." you shouted out, raising your hand as you did so like that would make miss any less mad at you.

"you had lunchtime to print it out then, beomgyu." my teacher practically glared at you, seeing as you had a questionable reputation with basically all the teachers in this school.

"i don't have any money on my account, taehyun does though. can i go to the library and print it out with him?" you asked innocently, but i could tell you were lying straight through your teeth.

"just this once, beomgyu." my teacher gave in too easily, in turn making my life just that little bit harder.

you grabbed my forearm, virtually dragging me out of my seat and out the classroom. i blushed at the feeling of your hand laced around my wrist despite the fear that was bubbling in the pit of my stomach. fear because i didn't know what was so urgent that you needed to pull me out of lesson to talk to me about it.

"why'd you lie?" i asked once we had left the classroom in barely a whisper, and my blush only deepened because you intertwined our fingers with ease.

"like i said, we need to talk and you were gonna avoid me if i waited until school ended." you replied vaguely, leading me outside of the school and near the exit where the lockers were situated.

"it's too cold for this, beom." i almost whined, hesitantly, letting go of your hand to wrap my arms around my frame in hopes of capturing more heat because my thin blazer was doing f*ck all.

"i-it's really important." you began, eyes becoming nervous as you started to find the floor the most interesting thing in the world.

"what is it-"

"𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐝𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐦𝐞?"

👀