The Canary's Lullaby

Chapter Five

Laurel's funeral was held a week later. Despite Sara's encouraging vow, Oliver was unsure about making an appearance. If he couldn't face Quentin during the pregnancy, how could he do so now? This time around, he was certain that the detective would not only blame him for ruining his daughter's life, but also for ending it. As he paced the perimeter of his disorganized room with the decision hanging over his head, he was startled by Thea and her unexpected inquiry.

"Are you going to the church to say goodbye to Laurel?" the 9 year old asked. Even though she was old enough to understand the concept of death, she still couldn't make sense of the fact that it was Laurel who was dead. Apart from Sara, Laurel was the closest thing she had to a big sister.

"I don't know yet, Speedy" Oliver admitted, releasing a breath he didn't know he'd been holding.

"Well, if you do, can I come?" she asked eagerly.

Several haunting clicks filled the hall with every step Moira took just as Oliver thought to answer. But it seemed she beat him to it. "Absolutely not. This is a very difficult time for the Lance family and we don't need to make it any harder". The older blonde thought about the press that was guaranteed to want their hands on such a tragedy.

"Fine" Thea shrugged. Then she pulled Oliver forward to whisper something. "Just say hello to the baby for me".

"Okay, Speedy. I will" Oliver promised as he engaged his younger sister in a much needed hug.

Seeing how excited Thea was about a baby she had yet to meet made him wish the circumstances were different. Perhaps if he and Laurel were older and married (and if she had survived), his parents would not be so intent on keeping the baby away from Thea. They couldn't risk leaving a bad impression of parenthood on the only Queen child they now had hope for.

Meanwhile, Sara kept her eyes locked on the door as she anticipated Oliver's arrival. The baby squirmed and grunted in her arms. While gently rocking her, a tiny tear fell from the corner of Sara's face and onto the baby's cheek.

"Sorry. I'm not usually like this, but this a bit of a big day" Sara confided as she gentle wiped the tear from the baby's cheek and smoothed out the skirt of the newborn's black dress.

"Where is he?" Sara whispered to her mother.

"I'm sure he'll be here" Dinah assured her.

"I hope you're right. If he's not coming for us, he should at least come for the baby" Sara said.

She understood why Oliver spent the night at home; which left Sara and Dinah with the task of caring for the baby. He needed some time alone to fully process reality and he needed to let his parents know what was happening. Even though they showed no interest in the baby, he still tried to get them involved by keeping them informed. However, what she did not know was that he was amidst the crowd of mourners while she kept looking for him.

As he snuck his way into the back row, he was hit in the chest with a pang of guilt. If anyone knew he was here, this would no longer be a celebration of Laurel's life. But rather a day to reflect on his failures. He dared not make eye contact with anyone as he made his way through. But he was certain that his best friend, Tommy Merlyn was somewhere in the first two rows. They'd all grown up together from the age of five: Oliver, Tommy and Laurel. By the time they were all old enough to understand the concept of feelings, both boys had decided that they would one day marry her. Many arguments ensued as the years went by. But now, Oliver was left to wonder why she chose him over Tommy.

The world stood still as the minister delivered his routined speech regarding life and how death was not meant to be seen as the end, but rather a new beginning to the next great adventure. Oliver sat silently, shaking his head in doubt with his arms crossed. The minister spoke as if he had all the answers. But he didn't know Laurel. He only knew what Dinah and Quentin allowed him to. Oliver was confident that he knew better. He knew things that Laurel never allowed anyone to know.