HATE- THE MOTHER OF LOVE

My kinda hell😈

                      Cassie

Mondays are everyone's hell on earth days right? Wrong..mine is Friday.. Why? Figures.. I ain't everyone..

I actually kinda love... No scratch that.. Really love Mondays.... I know you're probably thinking am a weirdo, no worries though.. I also think that too... See, lemme explain to you why Fridays are my most fucked up days.

They start kinda normally. Wake up, wash and dress up, school, blah blah, lunch, blah blah, gym, blah blah... Then hell comes... Home.

I know most people my age love going home, especially on a Friday.. Parties and everything.. Getting ready for the weekend.. Well, not me. Mostly because I have to listen to my brother and his girlfriend go at it (they're the really loud type) and then there's this thing that usually seizes me right from around eleven every night till one in the morning.

I use the term thing, for lack of a better word. It's not human, animal or anything like that, but it's very much tangible. I can't touch it though, weird, I know, but I can feel it same as I feel my bed. The only difference though, is that my bed doesn't cause me half the pain I go through when this thing envelopes me.

Another weird thing, (Yap, I'm full of weird stuff) is that the pain isn't anything like earth pain, not that I've experienced heaven pain or something, it's just that this one feels alien. It doesn't hurt physically though...at least not that much... (Yap, you can call me mad now)

Wait.. Why the fuck am I ranting off anyway (sigh)... Yap.. It's a Friday.. And from the look Mrs Sparks is giving me now, hell might just break loose even before lunch break is here.

Literature is, of course, my best subject, but even that doesn't seem to get me to concentrate in class on Fridays. This, plus the fact that my teacher actually hates me and doesn't care that I get a clean A in each and every test (that plus in each and every subject). Something about me just seems to ignite hatred and anger in her, and for that reason alone, my ass has found itself in detention more times than I'd like to count.

"Miss Adams, are you by any chance implying that you would love the view of the sky from the detention room more than you love it here", the evil woman snaps at me

" The detention room has no windows Mrs Sparks, "I mumble looking down at my half completed work. " So you're now saying that I have schizophrenia?" Damn this woman is now starting to annoy me.

"I don't even know how to spell that word" I mutter under my breath, only because I can't say it to her face and risk getting thrown in that crappy hell hole they call detention, again.

I do my best to concentrate, or at least I pretend I do for the next thirteen and a half minutes (Yap, I was actually counting) until the bell goes off, signalling the end of the class. Knowing she will try bombarding me after class to give me a 'word',I grab my things and head for the door, tumbling and almost getting myself stampeded on by the massive bodies of students racing out of classes to go to the cafeteria.

"Cassie, stop dragging yourself. Am really dying to get to the cafeteria. I didn't get any breakfast this morning", my best friend, Kimberly says while she pouts and pushes me along.

I have known her most of my life, since kindergarten, and weirdly enough, she has stuck by my side ever since, not caring what people say or don't say about me. I actually feel admiration and love each time I look at her (and a little jealous coz she's breathtakingly beautiful).

We finally reach the cafeteria and I head towards our table while she goes to buy fries. While I'm waiting for her, I look around, as I always do, trying to pinpoint if there are any new faces. I'm still in the process when Kim comes into view and hands me my plate.

" Why you so distracted "she asks in that tone that says she knows what am thinking but she still wanna hear me say it. " Nothing.. It's another Friday" I tell her in the most nonchalant voice I can master, but she just rolls her eyes and continues attacking her food.

Though Kim happens to know what I go through every Friday, we don't really talk about it that much. She just checks to make sure am okay and  that nothing out of the ordinary has happened. I also can't stay with her Friday nights coz her mum insists they go over to her granny's till Sunday afternoon.

Apart from wishing she could hang out with me over the weekends, she's great in each and every other way... Oh, apart from boy talk..

"Hey, guess what Max left in my locker today (see, told ya)", she says in one breath, I roll my eyes and say nothing as I look at her, coz she'll still tell me no matter what answer I give. " It was a mother fuckin poem Sandy, something he made up himself and it's soo sweet", she continues her eyes becoming dreamy and I can't help but smile

At least one of us gets to fall in love right, (sigh). "What did it say", I ask, to snap her out her daydream " Want me to recite it for you?" She asks all excited. Holy shit, no! That would be too much for my Friday mind to tolerate and I'm just about to decline, when the bell thankfully rings.

We part ways as we head to our classes, with her giving me a tight hug then racing off to her own class. The rest of the day passes by in a haze, and I only notice what time it is, when I walk out to my car, with Kim by my side. She's ranting off about how she and Max made out in the girls' washrooms, and I'm barely listening to her, due to the anticipation am feeling at knowing what is waiting for me tonight. She kisses my cheek, begs me to stay safe, that it will be fine and to hang on, blah blah. I kiss her cheek and assure her I will be just fine, like I have for the last 2 years. She walks off to her car, and I get in mine.

It is only when I pull in my driveway, that I actually feel the tension building inside me. I contemplate not going inside, but I know it will be a waste of time. That thing will still find me at midnight no matter where I am.

Running away is not a choice I was given, so I have to stick to the only one I was... To suck it up like a real bitch and face it, like I always do. But even as I comfort myself in these words, I can't help but feel that this time it will be different. I don't know how I know it, but I just know; just like I know the sky is blue, that tonight will be a turning point.

For the good or bad, remains to be found out.