Swap

The Truth

Time to continue writing new chapters! So exciting! Quick reminder: read the other 9 chapters if you haven't already. Otherwise, this might not make sense! Enjoy! -Lovemyselfartist
...
Jax
I wake with tears on my face and purple swimming in my vision. I glance over at the clock- 1:35am.
As soon as I got home, I'd collapsed into bed. That had been at about four o'clock. Rather than accept that Lexi was right, I decided to sleep and lose myself. And sleep I did. It was a deep, deep sleep, but, a nightmare came anyways. So, now I'm awake, rested, but groggy.
I roll over and swing my legs off the mattress. Standing, I walk to the closet and pull out a pair of sweatpants and a warm hoodie; I'm going for a walk.
...
I just let my feet wander. Everything seems so innocent and peaceful at nighttime. My breath puffs and steams out in front of me and suddenly I realize I'm standing outside of the café Lexi and I ate at nearly a month ago, where all our troubles began. I go inside.
...
"I'll have one Steak Sandwich Delight please," I tell the cashier.
She grins and gives me a wink, "Coming right up."
I go and sit down to await my sandwich. What a weird girl. Winking at me? My foggy brain isn't getting something here.
"One Steak Sandwich Delight!"
I go up to her to grab it and she says, "So, what are you doing later, babe?"
I raise my eyebrows at her and stifle a yawn.
"Are you lesbian?" If she is, she must have a bad taste in fashion if she's attracted to me in sweats. But then I realize something.
Disgust clouds her face. "Have you been drinking? If so, leave at once, you disgusting animal. You're too young! I could call the police on you!"
I hardly hear her, as I grab the sandwich and stumble out- probably only adding to her suspicions of drinking.
Once I'm alone in the parking lot, I close my eyes. Did I hear my voice?
"Are you lesbian?" I repeat. It's true. My voice comes out deep. Deeper than Lexi's. I look down at myself and realize, I am Jax. I am a guy. I am me. I feel normal. Usual. And I love it. I want to be me. I'm sick of being caught up in Lexi's world, full of girl problems. I'm sick of arguing with her and hurting her.
I've been lying to myself for almost three weeks. I don't like being a slut over being myself. I am a monster. I always wanted to swap back. And... I care about her. I really do. And I've been treating her like dirt.
Hitting her and yelling at her. Cursing her and wrecking her life.
I am wrecking Lexi Grey's life.
Wrecking it.
Without warning, I am filled with overwhelming sadness for what I've done. I have wrecked her life and now she has to fix it. Unless I help her.
I remember blearily dropping a phone- my phone- into my sweatpants pocket and pull it out now. I pull up Lexi's contact and begin to type.
...
The message I send to her half an hour later isn't eloquent or poetic and beautiful. But it's heartfelt. Cause it's the truth. A long truth.
'Hey Lexi. Isnt it great that youre you now, and I'm me? For me, yes. For you, no. It's no for you cause I've wrecked everything you are. I was wrong. I should've asked. I shouldn't have hit you. And I am so so sorry. Tomorrow when you show up for school and suddenly Lexi isn't a slut, people will wonder. And they might get mad, criticize or hurt you. But if you'll let me, I'll stand by you to the end. I'll protect you. I was wrong. And now, I'm asking for a chance to make it up to you if you'll let me. I believe you about Cheyenne. I am sorry.'
It takes a lot of guts for me to finally hit send. But when I do, a great weight that settled upon me three weeks ago, lifts. I feel so free and full of energy, and ready for life. Except... it's 2am.
Knowing I won't be able to sleep if I go back home, I continue on my midnight walk, happily.
About five minutes later I start to run. A joyful run, with spring in each step.
As I whiz past an alleyway 3 blocks later, I hear a shriek.
Cautiously, I turn around and peek around the building, just to the left of the alley.
There is a girl running about in a wider part. She's shrieking and being chased by a guy.
Assuming the worst, I dash down towards them.
It's one heck of a disgusting alley. There are beady eyed rats peering out of the darkness. Eww. I leap over a trash can and keep going.
Once I'm too close to turn back without being noticed, I realize my mistake.
It's not an abduction, a drunk guy or lost people. It's Cheyenne and her boyfriend.
She's running because it's all fun and games. Once he catches her, he kisses her. She's just playing along.
He finally grabs her around the waist, spins her about. Then he pulls her close and they kiss.
I can hear their breaths hissing panting. They're kissing like there's no tomorrow. And they both repulse me. Cheyenne, for cheating and still whispering she loved me in the dead of night. For kissing me and drawing out my heart, just so she could rip it apart. For faking it all, the love, the enthusiasm, the friendship. And yes, she was faking it all. I don't believe in all that crap about, 'one person isn't enough, so I'll date two.' That's not how it works "baby".
Him. He repulses me with his shallow heart, knowing that she's dating someone else, but who cares? If you can have someone for a bit, to twist around your finger, why shouldn't you? Why not just do it if it makes you happy? 'Cause you'll hurt someone else. That's why.
They both repulse me.
"Hey there, Cheatenne, I'm thrilled you're so happy with your new boyfriend," I say to them, dryly. I don't even care anymore.
Immediately they whip around to face me, Cheyenne with a small shriek.
She looks ashamed and takes a small step away from him.
He however is the picture of ease. Tenderly, he pulls her back to his side and caresses her.
"Why hello Jax. How are you fairing?" His voice is almost a hiss.
"Quite fine, thank you," I respond in a low voice.
"Jax. I... I am sorry. I do love you. Still. It's just...." Cheyenne looks up to her boyfriend helplessly.
"It's just, you aren't good enough for her," he says, "Nor are you good enough for anyone. Not your family, or friends, or even, what's her name? Oh yes Lexi. The girl you suddenly care so much for."
His green eyes are almost glowing in the cool night. His voice is so soft I can hardly hear it over the pounding in my ears. He's smiling, triumphantly, but almost maniacally.
Don't you dare talk about my family. Or Alex or Lexi or even Cheyenne, like that. How can she even stand him?
Angrily, I glance back to Cheyenne and am surprised to see her almost crying.
"Jax? Jax? Is it true? Do you not love me? Do you care for Lexi now?"
I am so done with her. Seriously?
"Why should you even care? It looks like you got everything you wanted," I spit over my shoulder, walking away.
"That's right, Jax. Run away. Run away back home. See you in a week."
The green eyed man's voice echoes down the alleyway, and I begin to run, afraid of him. With each step that thuds into the ground, purple springs up in my eyes. See you in a week? Is that a threat?
I only accomplished one thing tonight. Apologizing to Lexi. I didn't finally let go of Cheyenne or overcome my fears.
And now, I run back to them, my fears, the purple nightmares that are taking control of me. And this time, I know the snake eyed man will be there too.