A Blissful Union

Chapter One - Bloom

From five years, to five months, to five hours
and now five minutes. In the next five minutes my whole life as I know it is about to change. All of the aniexty, adrenaline and apprehension I have been holding is coming to an end.
It's the beggining of the end. Part of me will die today but something so beautiful and sweet will be created, like the honey made by the sister bees in treetops of the trees recited in the Manipur paddy fields during the Midsummer.

Never have I bared a child but today within the depths of my womb I can feel her. She's singing and dancing to the beat of acient Hindu drums. I can hear the bells around her ankles chime. My stomach feels like a thousand doves have been let out of their cage which they have been held within since the beginning of time itself.

He's close. I can feel him. I know this because I have never found it so easy to breathe. I stared at the large wooden oak door before me. Behind the gentle vibration of the tabla rocked my whole body. The door suddenly opens, people begin to take their places around me. My Mother takes my right side and that's when I see him. The exact same way I imagined this moment five years, five months, five hours and five minutes ago. Although the back of his head is only in view I still manage to feel the flutter of butterflies. I walk towards where he is seated on the floor and place myself next to him. Before us both stands the palki sahib decorated with fluorescent fairy lights.Within this structure holds our enternal Guru, the Guru Granth sahib (Sikh holy book). In Sikh holy scriptures when one marries it is to the Guru himself not your physical partner. Bearing this in mind and doing various research on the Anand Karaj (Sikh wedding ceremony) beforehand I still could not help my eyes wonder across to him. He himself was not shy at all and in all honesty pretty coy. How is one to pin point his curiousity though? Being engaged from the age of 16 and now being the age of 21, waiting for this one moment which has now rose. It's all so special but exhausting at the same time when you think about it.

It's like his eyes pierced through me, it was a feeling of both pleasure and confusion. Why is he looking at me so harshly? Do I have something on my face? No. He's commited himself to you for five years and only saw your face breifly within that whole time. My view of him was only from the side but I could tell he was as nervous as I had been. His eyes were hazel as I had seen them in the few pictures I had received of him. His shoulders, broad as ever and his skin, golden like the tumeric powder found in my Mothers spice cupboard back home. I had always found him attractive but today he shone like diamonds found in the Himalayan Mountains. It's crazy how your soul can feel such a connection with another human being. At that exact moment I commited my whole existence to him and God himself.

One statement ran through my mind like a kid on a ferris wheel at their local carnival: "this is the guy I have speaking to over outlook emails over the past few years?!" I come from a tradtional family, it was never a possibilty to swap phone numbers or contact each other over Watsapp. It was agreed a formal type of communication would be suited. Embarrasment swept over me like a white sheet, ladies and gentlemen some of these emails got very interesting and.... "colourful". Sitting here in the local Gurdwara (holy place) going through the countless emails of where we projected our love for each other without even meeting made me cringe slightly. Either way, I still couldn't wait to meet him in person after the ceremony. Just to feel the touch of his skin or run my fingers through his thick black made me feel lightheaded.

When thinking back to the wedding ceremony it all just seems a blur, I can see flashbacks of various family members faces some of which I do not recgonise. I longed for the moment we would both be alone.