HER LAST WISH

Part 16

We were sitting outside Dr Raza’s cabin, waiting for our turn. Yes, I had got Astha with me this time. After all, she was the patient.
“Vijay, Dr Raza is a very senior doctor. What’s his consultancy fee?” Astha enquired with concern. Only a lower middle class person can think about money while in the hospital, rather than the disease.
“Nine hundred.”
“That is pretty expensive!” she exclaimed and waited for my nod and I had to oblige as a duty of a husband. “Why are we wasting our precious money here? I am totally fine,” she added.
“Let the doctor say the same thing and I will be convinced. Also, I am planning to appoint a full time care-taker for you at home.”
It was really difficult to convince Astha for any kind of expenditure. It is not that she was a very unwell patient, but she couldn’t be blamed; the symptoms of this disease were rarely visible.
“I only have a common cold and—” her sentence was cut short as her name was called out.
Dr Raza didn’t seem to be in a hurry. We were not the last patient either. Before he said anything, I probed him, “Sir, this is Vijay. I hope you remember
me. And this is my wife,” I said pointing at Astha. “As per your instruction after seeing her report, I have apprised her that her liver has been infected.” Astha gave me a weird look .
“Of course. How can I forget you? I do remember everything,” replied Dr Raza. I heaved a sigh of relief.
“Doctor, I am totally fine. My husband is unnecessarily worrying about me.”
“Astha, your husband is not worrying unnecessarily. It is good that there are no
complications with your infection currently. You have been diagnosed well in time. But it will only get worse if you don’t take care of yourself. Now tell me, do you feel drowsy, itchy, have a common cold, pain in the part of the abdomen near the liver?”
“Yes, doctor. Since the last few weeks I have been feeling very drowsy, and have been experiencing mild pain in the lower abdomen. But I guessed this was because of the medicine.”
He threw a glance at me and said, “I guess so.” I passed him a smile and added, “She has cold since the past twenty-five days.”
She nodded in confirmation.
“What about the last couple of days?” asked Dr Raza.
“I have a metallic taste in my mouth. I often feel like puking.”
“This indicates that the medicines I prescribed have been effective.” Saying
this, Dr Raza mumbled the names of some medicines. Doctors and astrologers
always throw difficult words at people. “Astha,” he continued, “I require you to get a full body test conducted so that I can gauge the seriousness of the
infection.”
He started writing something, which was Hebrew to us. I guessed it included a
complete blood profile test, involving thyroid, metolic, pregnancy, H++, haemoglobin, ultrasound, TLC, CD3and CD4 cell count, urine culture, CT Scan,
X-Ray, kidney tests, among others .
“If money is a constraint, then CT Scan and ultrasound can be skipped at the moment, but everything else is mandatory. It is Friday today, please get all these tests done and visit me with the reports on Monday.”
“Doctor, Vijay is too concerned. Please tell him that this is not required at all.”
“We will discuss that after we have the reports in hand,” Dr Raza said.
“Okay, thanks.”
“Vijay, you’ll have to monitor her diet. No processed food. No wheat flour, rice, pasta, potatoes, tomatoes, beans, maze, legumes, eggplant, or dairy products. Instead, give her lots of protein, veggies, fruits, nuts and seeds. You have to treat her like a child.”
“Why a child?” Astha asked.
“We decide everything for a child, from the food he eats to his sleeping timings. Everything needs to be monitored closely. The same goes for you. A
careless attitude can change your fate. Until then, enjoy your time.”
She watched the doctor aghast.
“Vijay, how is your UTI infection? Kindly avoid sex for a few months as it could affect her liver.” Dr Raza lied and smiled, “You can use a condom
though.”
These words from the doctor’s mouth were enough to scare the hell out of Astha.
The same night, I was sitting in our bedroom reading our college magazine The Spark. It was ironical that no spark was left in me. I didn’t have the money to fulfil her wishes. I didn’t have money to celebrate her birthday. I didn’t even know whether she would be alive till then or not. The expense of the treatment was the only prime thing on my mind for now. However, I was adamant on meeting Daniel.
“What are you doing Vijay?” Astha interrupted my chain of thoughts.
“What happened?”
“You have been holding you college magazine for the last fifteen minutes but I am sure you are not reading it.”
“Oh, is it? Well, I was thinking.” I faked a smile.
“No wonder! These days you think a lot.”
“You know Astha, in the past, I had appeared many times for the IAS exams. Most of the time I would not even check the result. But I would still appear the
next time because Papa would push me to do so. He had his own motives to do that.”
Astha realized the pain in my voice. She came close to me and kissed me.
“I know that sweetheart. But why are you thinking about it all of a sudden?”
“Every time I failed to clear my exam, I would be disappointed. I would cry. Each time Mom would walk up to me and apologize on Papa’s behalf. She
would say that Papa loved me a lot and wished to accomplish his own dream via his son’s accomplishments. Mom had realized that it was impossible for me to clear the IAS exam.”
“Does your Mom know what an apology is?”
“Stop it, Astha! She sure did. I feel that she was more sensitive towards my feelings than Papa.”
“Really!” she said sarcastically.
“You’ll realize it someday,” I said with conviction and faith.
“I don’t think so,” Astha said pretty insensitively. “But why on earth are you thinking about all this? ”
“Sweetheart, I am wondering whether it is ethically or morally correct for a wife to seek an apology on behalf of her husband.”
She thought about it for a second and said, “It is not about husband and wife. It
is about the love they share.”
I realized that it was dangerous to ask for advice from an extrovert, but I took a
chance. “Please explain.”
“Anyone who loves the other person can seek an apology on his or her behalf. For example, you love me and so you can seek an apology on my behalf.” She
had managed to hit the bull right in the eye. That was exactly what I had wanted to hear. I gave her my stereotypical smile.
“Why are you laughing now?” There it was! The same question again. But by now I had excelled the art of ignoring this question by asking a counter question. “What if a person doesn’t forgive the other person?”
“Winners always forgive whereas losers always retaliate. The person who apologizes in turn passes on all of his burden on the other person’s head. The
one who understands this always forgives. Whereas the ones who seek further revenge only burn themselves daily by having to bear all the burden. And
according to that logic, my husband is a winner.”
“Oh okay.” I showed her a thumbs up as a sign of my appreciation and asked,
“How am I a winner?”
“Because you have forgiven your father.”