HER LAST WISH

Part 36

               Daniel speaks
Before this husband-wife duo stamp me a villain, allow me to introduce myself and narrate my version of the story. I first met Astha in the fifth grade. She was very studious and a highly
ambitious girl. She would always compete with me during the exams, but never succeeded. She always wished to be the topper of the class, but would end up
coming second or third. I belong to a modern orthodox family. Modern to the outer world, and orthodox to the family. Sunday church visits are a ritual for my
family. Come hell or high water, the visit would not be missed. Morning and evening prayers are an integral part of our routine. My mother was a homemaker. Marico India paid enough for us to be classified as a prosperous
family with a decent standard of living. A boy requires no reason to fall for a girl like her. She was a very demanding girlfriend. Astha’s expensive shopping and dresses would irritate me because I had to pay for all of it. The only way to make her happy was buying her expensive gifts. Initially I considered it to be a price to be paid for having such a
gorgeous girlfriend. Astha’s good look further decayed her senses. She aspired to be a model.
According to me, it was foolish of her to even dream of being a model, given the kind of family she hailed from. This was my weird Astha . Astha loved Salman Khan and had a wish to marry him, making me super jealous of him. I always wished he’d get married soon. In spite of all the hatred I had for Salman’s script-less movies, I had no choice but to watch all of them, first day first show.
Astha had had a rough personal life. Owing to all her struggles, she had become a snob. The word ‘apology’ had no meaning for her. She had once demanded for pocket money from her stepmother and upon being refused, she had fought with her. That was the day I promised myself to fund her expenses. A
poor guy like me who was trapped in her love during school days was definitely falling more in love with her each day.
I dreamt big for myself. I wished to pursue MBA from the USA. I broke the news of requiring huge amount in dollars to pursue MBA only to realize that my
father had lost his job. Somehow I managed to fund myself while my dream girl landed a PO job at Axis Bank. Finally she had done something sensible by
accepting this offer.
My real struggle commenced after a year in the USA when I learnt that my mother had had a minor heart attack, resulting in a bypass surgery which required a few lakh rupees. I requested Astha to issue a personal loan in my
father’s name. Being a PO at Axis Bank, this was a minuscule task for her. She gladly accepted my request and visited my place to get some papers signed by
my father. I wish I hadn’t asked her for this favour in the first place, because I was unaware of what my father would be saying to her.
“Daniel, your family is very orthodox. I think it is better to call off our
relationship.” She called me up and said this after she got home from my place.
I tried to pacify her but couldn’t spend long hours on phone owing to the costly ISD call rates. Out of the blue, her number was indefinitely switched off .
Astha’s father had left for his heavenly abode. I concluded that she must be sad because of the unforeseen news. Little did I know that she was a psycho.
When I got back to Delhi, I learnt that Astha had been married off to a rich professor. My girl, who had been mine for years, was now gone. I had no authority to address her as mine. I was fuming with anger. All I wanted was
revenge. The thought of Astha sleeping in her husband’s arms was intolerable to me. I vowed never to forgive her.
I still remember the day when I almost threw Vijay out of my house. I was jealous of him, and my jealousy turned into hatred after some time. I was living
in an imaginary world, a world far away from reality. When I came to know that Vijay was nothing but an ordinary professor, I was amused. Seeing your enemy suffer is one of the most pleasant things. Thinking that Astha didn’t have any
luxuries helped to heal the wounds. I finally had my revenge. I always failed to understand that if Vijay was such a disaster, then why did she refuse to marry
me? Was it because of my religion?
I tried to find out what exactly my father said to her when she visited my house. My father didn’t reply, but I got my reply. My family pushed me to marry someone. I met a couple of girls. A successful banker, who looks good, was
definitely a temptation for many useless girls. My family made me meet many girls who desperately wanted to have a lifetime guarantee like me. I don’t know
why, but I couldn’t convince myself to marry any of them.
One Sunday I was sitting alone and thinking why I didn’t want to marry any of them. My heart had the answer. I was still in love with Astha, or I wanted someone better than her. In reality, in an extreme corner of my heart, I wanted to show her that I deserve better than her, far better than her . The reason for her decision to marry Vijay was not good enough for me to forgive her, but what I failed to understand was that when she decided not to marry me, she could have told me. We were together for more than ten years. That was the internal struggle that I had. In a war between the heart and the
mind, my mind won. After all, I am an investment banker. She didn’t deserve my forgiveness; if she was really apologetic, she should have called me at least
once. Not send her loser husband. The more stupid one was her husband; how could he come to meet her wife’s ex-boyfriend. A normal human won’t do it.
Either he was way too dumb or Astha was too dominating.
One day I went to a bookstore and picked up a magazine I wanted and suddenly noticed the cover of another magazine. I saw a familiar face on the
cover. The same face that had made me lose my sleep. A smile to die for. The cover read:
A truly inspiring and eye-opening story of a pregnant HIV positive woman – Page-16
I started to read the story. It was about the woman I hated more than anything. But after reading all that, I had tears in my eyes. I could not sleep that night. I
realized that Vijay was right; she wasn’t well. That moment I realized what a loving husband that guy was. The next day was a Sunday. I decided to attend the
church and make a confession.
“Father I took my revenge from somebody I hated a lot. Did I do the right thing?” This was my question from the confession box.
“What do you think? Are you happy?”
“Yes, father. I am happy,” I answered.
“If you are happy, then why are you here?”
I realized I had limited time to correct myself. I had to right my wrong. I was a loser because I was the one who had retaliated, and only a loser retaliates.