Without Paige

Chapter Eighteen

Chapter Eighteen

When I woke up the next morning, I did so far earlier than most of the others. I did my best to slide out from my spot, shoved between a still sleeping Katy and a snoring Naomi, and I tiptoed past everyone else to leave the cabin.

Trevor and Miles were the only others awake, and I found them sitting around the dried coal remnants of last night's fire. I pulled my hoodie over my head as I walked over, frowning as the sudden pain that shut up my arm. Fitting eight of us into the cabin last night to sleep had been interesting, especially since there were only two couches. In the end, Trevor and Naomi had each taken them, and the rest of us had been left to suffer on the ground. It seemed the roughness of the cabin flooring had taken its toll on my shoulders.

Miles smiled as I made my way over and sat at the edge of the bench. Trevor was hunched over with his head in his knees, a half-drunk water bottle at his feet. Looking at him, I couldn't help but laugh.

Especially when I remembered he'd ended the night only after puking into the bush and falling asleep on the dirt ground. Keith had to drag him up and into the cabin when we'd all decided to go to bed.

"How are you feeling this morning?" Miles asked.

"Not too bad," I shrugged, looking past him at Trevor. "Definitely a lot better than him."

Miles laughed, "Yeah, he's feeling it, that's for sure."

In my back pocket, my phone buzzed, and I pulled it out to look at the time. It was a little before eight in the morning, and the sun was just rising, casting an orangey glow over the sky. Trevor, Miles and I sat like that for a little while longer, until everyone except Naomi had come out of the cabin with their stuff in hand, ready to make their way down the mountain.

Liam elected to drive Trevor down, being as he was in no shape to drive his own car. Despite the many protests he made, everyone except him was convinced he had yet to flush all the drinks out of his system.

Katy, Miles and I took our bags and pillows and filed into his truck, the second last group to leave, with only Naomi and Keith hanging back. I hadn't listened to the whole plan, but from what I'd heard, Rikki had been her ride up and he had an appointment in town that he couldn't miss. So, he'd left earlier and Keith was going to drive her back instead.

On the ride back, Katy connected her phone to bluetooth, playing a wide mix of genres. When she'd turned and asked me if I had any requests, she'd said she had everything besides country and techno, stating they were the bottom of the musical food chain. Through the rear-view mirror, I'd seen Miles roll his eyes at the comment.

He dropped me off just outside of my house, where my mom's car was sitting in the driveway, exactly where it'd been when I'd left last night.

As I jumped down to the pavement, I gave the two of them a wave, "Thanks for driving me."

"Anytime," Katy said through the open window. "I'll text you. We'll get together again when school starts."

I nodded, slinging my bag over my shoulder, "Sounds good."

"See ya," she called as I made my way up the driveway. I turned back as I unlocked the door, watching Miles' truck round the corner and disappear from view.

Inside, the house was quiet. The lights were all off, and the blinds were drawn, and though I listened long and hard for the quiet pacing of footsteps above me, I heard nothing. I slipped my shoes off of my feet and tucked them into the closet, nearly jumping out of my skin when I noticed my mom, who sat on the couch in the middle of the living room, a book in her hands.

She wasn't looking at me, but I knew she knew I was there. Her shoulders were squared and her head tilted in a way that told me she was listening, as though waiting for me to speak first.

I sighed, "Hi, mom."

"You were gone all night," she said, simply.

I swallowed, clutching the straps of my backpack that much tighter. My room wasn't too far away, it was only a few paces, really, but it felt like an impossible distance. "I slept over at a friend's house."

"Those kids in the truck?" She asked.

I licked my lips, nodding. I wasn't sure where this was going, and it left an eerie feeling in the pit of my stomach. I looked behind her, at the living room, where dad would usually be sitting with a cup of coffee in hand and the T.V. on. I was used to the house feeling lonely, but never before had it felt this empty. Dad had been the glue that was holding the broken pieces of us all together, and now... now, I didn't know what this was, but it didn't feel like home.

"I've never seen them before," my mom said, looking at the door, as if she could still see Miles and Katy sitting out there in the truck. "Do they go to your school?"

I swallowed, wondering where the sudden interest had come from. It'd been months since she'd shown any interest in my social life. Dad was always the one who did that, asking me when I was going to go out, who I was going out with. That had always felt more protective than anything else, and this just felt weird.

"No," I shook my head. "They live in Southport."

"Southport?" She repeated. After a long minute, she looked away from the door and back at me. "You should bring them over for dinner one time. I'd like to meet them."

I blinked, not sure of what to say. Once upon a time, she'd insisted on meeting all of my friends before I went out with any of them. The same rules had applied to Paige, but where I'd always sucked it up and followed the rules, Paige had tons of friends mom knew nothing about. The ones that she partied with at the college dorms and smoked pot in their cars in the back of parking lots.

Our parents had done a lot to try and keep Paige and I out of trouble that way, but nothing ever seemed to work. For every new thing they tried, Paige had a sneaky way of getting around it. By the time she'd turned 16, they'd all but given up.

"She's just a kid," I'd once overheard my dad explaining. "It's just a phase she'll grow out of."

"I'm worried about her," my mom had said back. "I don't like not knowing what she's doing."

I frowned, swallowing. "Maybe. I'm still kind of deciding where I lie with them right now."

With nothing else to add, I stepped past her and made my way down the hall to my room. When I looked back, she was no longer standing where I'd left her. She was sitting at the kitchen table, looking over at the portrait that hung next to the fridge. I turned away, leaving her there without a word.

It was hours before my dad called and asked me to meet him in town for dinner. The house had been silent, and the sound of my phone ringing nearly scared me out of my chair. I was already walking out into the hall when I hung up, my footsteps creaking beneath me. My mom had long since left the kitchen, and though I couldn't hear her walking above me, one quick glance out at her car through the living room window told me she was still here.

With her reaction from this morning still fresh in my mind, I scribbled a quick note on the pad of sticky notes that was sitting on the island. It wasn't much, just a few words to let her know I was with dad, and I wasn't even sure she'd think to look. Though I couldn't help but hope that maybe, just maybe, she would.